Girls

Kate Upton: Top 10 Facts You Need to Know


Heavies lets face it, Kate Upton is the dream girl you’ve always wanted. She’s drop dead gorgeous and does a pretty mean Cat Daddy. She blew up on most people’s radar eating a Carl’s Junior cheeseburger for christ’s sake! What more do you want from a woman?! Well if you’re the type of person who wants the skinny on everything, we’ve got you covered Kate Upton-wise. Here’s the Top 10 Facts You Need To Know about Kate Upton.

10. She Made Her Brief, Cleavage-filled Saturday Night Live Debut in a Skit Alongside Fox News Blowhard Bill O’Reilly.


This skit is pretty funny and SNL goes the safe route with giving the best lines to the cast members. This was Kate Upton’s SNL debut but I’d be surprised if it wasn’t the last time we see her with the SNL cast.


9. She Was Born in 1992 – WHAT?!

You know what also happened in 1992? Aladdin, Batman Returns, A League Of Their Own, and Reservoir Dogs all came out in theaters and Windows 3.1 was released. She can’t even legally drink! Ugh, I feel so old.


8. She Made a Cameo Appearance in The Three Stooges

Granted, it’s a small role (her clip is played 3 times for a whopping 12 seconds total time) but it’s the silver screen! Plus a nun bikini, a nun-kini!


7. Kate Upton Was Really Into Horses


Kate Upton was a pretty accomplished equestrian, her wiki states:

With her horse Roanie Pony, she won three APHA Reserve World Championships — 13 and Under Western Riding, 13 and Under Horsemanship, and 14–18 Western Riding. She was named the 13 and Under Reserve All-Around Champion, giving her a total of four reserve championships (2nd place). In addition, Upton ended up third overall on the APHA youth Top Twenty. With a second horse, Zipped, she won 14–18 Western Riding and was included in the top 5 in 14–18 Horsemanship and 14–18 Western Pleasure in 2009.

Dang. That’s a lot of impressive-sounding horse-related stuff. Let’s just stick to chuckling at the old photos I dug up instead of pretending to know what any of the above really means, shall we?


6. Kate Upton Went 0-2 With 2 Groundouts in the 2011 Celebrity Softball Game

Poor Kate, she looked pretty derpy out there when she had to swing her bat, but when she just had to hold it? Sexy as ever.


5. Kate Upton Was Stabbed With a Banana by Daniel Tosh

Quote of the Decade – Kate Upton: “That is a sharp banana.”


4. Kate Upton Was Just On The Cover of GQ Italy

You’re welcome, Heavies.


3. Kate Upton Has Her Own Baseball Card


Not only does Kate Upton have a rookie card that you may be able to retire off of in the far-reaching future, but it also has a piece of her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Bikini in it! You can frame this card or rip if apart and rub the bit of bikini all over your face. Either is acceptable.


2. Kate Upton Looks Even More Sexy With A Deep Tan

Hot off the Vogue Spain presses, Kate Upton looking absolutely stunning in the strangest bikini I’ve ever seen (but I ain’t complainin’)!


1. Skullcandy Headphones Totally Has a Boner For Kate Upton

C’mon Skullcandy, how is anyone else supposed to compete with custom headphones? Don’t steal Kate from us! Kate! Kate! We’ll give you your own series Kate, please. You want to do an interview? You wanna review fast food for Heavy like that Five Guys dude in the truck? Anything you want Kate name it, just don’t go over to those douchers at Skullcandy!

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