It’s Christmas Eve in a decrepit Pennsylvania mansion: Eight teenagers sit around a Christmas tree in rags while Jon cuddles with a young girl on the couch. Kate comes in with ten perfectly clothed blond children with reverse mullets and her new husband Ben. It’s the year 2019, and this is a very special reunion episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8.
Voiceover: Tonight the cameras return for an intimate look at the Gosselin family, ten years after their show was canceled.
Kate: Ben! Get the bibs out for the ten. It’s time to open the gifts.
Hannah: There’s only one gift under the tree.
Cara: And it’s for you Mom.
Kate: It’s all I was able to afford his year with 18 kids. Do you know how much I’ve sacrificed for these children. I had to have this second set of ten just to get the new show. But it was all worth it, I would do anything for my children.
Leah: Are you here for the whole day mom?
Kate: Joel, you know Mommy can’t stand to be with Daddy that long.
Joel: I’m Joel, that’s Leah.
Kate: Ben! I said bibs for the kids.
Jon: She’s a real shrew, huh, Ben? A real husband abuser.
Hannah: At least she didn’t meet Ben at my league semifinals volleyball game.
Jon: I’m sorry, I’m in love with her. I’m not going to apologize. Sure she’s made mistakes, cheated on her trig test, got drunk before class one day, but you know what we all do stupid things when we’re young. After all, I married Kate.
Kate: Nice, Jon, way to take the high road. It’s hard enough for the children that we divorced but for a certain someone to be a complete asshole on Christmas is not okay. I do everything for my kids.
Colin: Road… toad!
Kate: Colin, for Godsakes speak English.
Aiden: School recommended Colin get speech therapy.
Kate: When was that, I don’t remember that. Ben did you not give me a message?
Cara: 2015. The year Mady and I adopted the sextuplets.
Kate: I’m sick of this attitude out of you kids. I had to move to LA for the new show Cara. How else do you expect me to keep you in this lifestyle?
Jon: Where is Mady?
Leah: She got arrested last year for selling drugs in the school parking lot.
Jon: You know I thought something was missing, oh right – it was my twenties. No I never regretted moving to New York permanently. And now that the kids are driving I see them once, twice a year. It’s fun. We do fun things. I’m the cool dad. Took the boys to Scores last time they came up.
Kate: Isn’t it nice to be spending our Christmas together as one big family. This is all I ever wanted, a happy home and a happy family.
Joel: And a hit tv show.
Cara: And a book deal.
Alexis: And houses all over the world.
Leah: And a new family when we weren’t cute anymore.
Kate: I did it all for my kids. All. For. My. Kids.
Voiceover: And that’s a peek at the Gosselin Family Christmas. Check out Kate and Ben Plus Ten weeknights at 7 on TLC, replayed on TLC-2 one hour later.