Welcome to the inaugeral installment of “Please Don’t Feed the Trolls“. In this (possibly to be continued) series, we examine the internet and identify for you what is a troll and what is pure unadulturated insanity.
The internet is extremely serious business. It is fast moving, slipperier than a greased hooker on meth and roughly 6 times as insane. Typically, younger children and the eldery have trouble on the internet: sending money to Nigeria, misreading social cues (“you TOTALLY should check out tubgirl! It’s hilarious, and possibly the best thing you’ve ever seen!”) and inappropriately commenting on their childrens Facebook statuses.
(Sidenote, Grandma, when you clicked “Like” on my recent status update you did know that “I just did no joke 10 lines of yayo and ran screaming through Lace in Times Square” means that I did enough coke to kill a blue whale and sexually assaulted strippers in an over priced yet vagina free strip club in Times Square?)
It is sometimes hard for some people to identify what, exactly, a troll is. Now I was going to link to the wikipedia page for troll but all I found was “penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis” so perhaps it’s better to give a culturally relevant example.
Take this video of Oprah. Now, this is clearly a troll. “Does not forgive, does not forget” is clearly a trademark of Anonymous. Secondly, the number 9000 is a reference to a popular internet meme that originated from the show Dragonball Z. Also, who the fuck says “9000 penises”, I mean, really? This is a prime example of internet claiming the unaware.
I’ve provided some homework below. Please go through these images and identify the troll. If you correctly identify them, I’ll send you something in a brown paper bag.