Not to toot my own dong too much, but I have to say we do some pretty cool crap over here at Heavy – from ground-breaking MMA coverage to hilarious comedy, we’ve got the bases covered and the ones that we don’t have covered we stole, to mix a metaphor. I know we’ve only been doing articles on the site for a few months, but I still think there’s more than enough good stuff to merit a Top 10 list. Next decade, I’m going to do a Top 1,000,000, and you’re going to love it.
10. The Sensual Muppet – The fact that this dude signed his real name to an article about having sex with Muppets shows how much we trust you, dear reader.
9. World Leaders With Hipster Beards – I got a death threat from Kim Jong-Il for this.
8. Top 5 Songs About Having Sex With Robots – Just an awesome, hilarious concept backed up with some great music.
7. 50 Articles Heavy.com Wouldn’t Pay Me For – A masterpiece of absurdist humor, and yes, we did pay the guy for it.
6. People Of Wal-Mart: The Movie – A scary ride into the dark matter of America.
5. Worst Of Netflix – I couldn’t pick just one installment of this always-awesome column, so here’s the archive page.
4. What Is America’s Sexiest Sandwich? – I pride myself on being able to answer these burning questions.
3. Five Things That Make Me Proud To Be An American – Like Worst of Netflix above, this is a thing that is funny week in and week out.
2. How The FBI Turned A Mafioso Into A MMA Fighter – Just an awesome story about a really crazy dude.
1. Why We Should Blow Up The Moon – Probably the only time that something we’ve written has actually influenced U.S. space policy.