So American Idol winner Taylor Hicks means that much to you that you’d get a massive, disfiguring tramp stamp to pay tribute to his success? Guess what: he’s playing shopping mall openings in the Philippines. Did you get a William Hung anklet too?
Yeah, I can see it now. You’re in Compton and a bunch of Crips is about to roll you for some milk money, but you turn around, drop trou and wham! Instant respect! Cool story, bro.
Okay. You’d think you’d do “I Beat Cancer” or “No More Cancer” or “Cancer Can Suck My Balls, Which I Didn’t Lose To Cancer.” But no, just “Cancer.” And the “The More You Know” shooting star.
Hey, I was thinking about putting something in your butt. What? Oh, I dunno, a Matchbox car or a pickle or whatevs. Oh, thanks for putting that handy sign there. I’ll put it in your mouth instead.
You know, if you have to advertise how good something is, it’s probably not that good. Like Fancy Feast – that stuff is not fancy at all.