The 20 Worst Couples

The 20 Worst Couples

Spring has sprung and love is in the air, my friends. Everywhere we look, people are coupling up in blissful hump celebrations. But you know what? This is a harsh world, and maybe some people just shouldn’t mate. In this feature, I present twenty couples who will make you reconsider the whole “continuing the human race” thing.

Mummy Lady Couple

Now dude here ain’t so bad, sort of a Sulu with a bowlcut thing, but what could be going through his head when he hooked up with this disturbing mummy beast on the right? You could put six paper bags over her head and the ugly would still burn through. That better be straight vodka in that frosty mug.

Deformed Jesus Couple

Do you, Blondesmiley, accept Deformed Jesus as your lord and savior? One thing that this guy has going for him: you can never tell if he’s high.

Goth Couple

What is even happening here? I mean, it’s good that you have that thing on a leash, but which one of you is even the dude? Are goth Juggalos allowed to be gay, too? Because we’re getting dangerously close to a bingo here.

Cheetos Couple

“Hey, Mom? I married Lou. You know, Lou! The Hot Cheetos f-er. Hello? Mom?”

Energy Drink Couple

Yeah, baby. You better drink that energy drink. When he gets you home you’re going to need every drop of gas in your tank.


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the ugliness here is in the author’s heart, not the people being mocked

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