Comedy

Bullies Tattoo Kid, Nation Freaks Out

Bullies Tattoo Kid

In a story that’s been getting national attention, a teenager in Concord, New Hampshire was coerced by high school bullies into getting the words “poop dick” tattooed on his posterior. He said that in exchange for the tattoo the bullies promised him a bag of weed, another tattoo of a Celtic cross, and that their teasing would stop – the logic I guess being that once you’ve earned the moniker “poop dick” everyone pretty much has to take you seriously.

Now don’t get me wrong, I feel that a serious crime has been committed. Which is why I turn to the vox populi of New Hampshire, Click On Detroit, for validation of my opinion. One poster in the comments section suggests an appropriate punishment for the youths involved:

I think all of these kids need LOSER tattooed across their forehead!

This to me makes sense. At-risk teens like the ones involved in this case need to be educated in valuable concepts like reciprocity which they’ll eventually apply in their fast food jobs by spitting in the milkshakes of rude customers who probably have 401ks and attractive wives and drive much better cars than them. Another poster suggests an augmentation of this punishment:

I agree—-but it wouldn’t be the forehead—maybe some other head……

I’m not sure what “other head” this frisky poster is referring to, but I’m going to assume, since I graduated high school a scant 9 years ago and therefore still have a pretty good handle on what teenagers are into, that it’s Brian “Head” Welch, the lead guitarist of the nu-metal band, Korn. I think that this would be a great idea as well; it would show the cruel and arbitrary nature of bullying and how even platinum-selling rock bands like Korn – who I assume were pretty popular in high school – aren’t immune to it.

There’s one final comment I’d like to make on this story and surprisingly it’s not a flustered demand to know where the parents, teachers, or guidance counselors were at. Rather, it’s a call to children of all ages to resist peer pressure, especially since it seems to have risen exponentially in the last decade – there was a time when if your teacher asked you, “If your friends told you to get a penis tattooed on your butt, would you?” she was being rhetorical.

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