Comedy

The 20 Awesomest Sky Mall Products

If you’ve been on a commercial airliner in the last 20 years you’ve probably flipped through the Sky Mall catalog. Believe it or not they actually sell a ton of merchandise and why not, who wouldn’t want to order the complete series of Bewitched while flying over the heartland? We’ve picked out 20 of the worst, oddest, and most awesome products they got.


Garden Yeti : With the Garden Yeti you can finally win the prestige of “best garden” in your gated community.  $98.95


Electric Body Blanket: No longer do you need to feel the cold chills of a dying social life for owning a snuggie, simply plug it in and enjoy. $59.95


British Telephone Booth: Should any Brits ever visit, you’ll need to make them feel at home and tea and biscuits aren’t gonna cut it. A bargain at only $1,250


Ab Transform: Healthy eating and exercise is for chumps, simply strap this baby on wherever you go and vibrate your way to a six-pac. You’ll be fist pumping like the Situation in no time. $99.99


Crocodile Statue: What better way to tell the neighbor kids to get out of your yard than a 4-foot long crocodile? $169


Head Spa Massager: Sure your peers may point and laugh at your odd looking headgear, but they’re just jealous of the therapeutic head massage soothing your problems away. $49.95


King Tut Cabinet: No need to go to tumultuous Egypt, bring the history right into your living room with a 6-foot tall sarcophagus. Perfect for sprucing up that studio apt. $895


Roswell Alien Butler: An alien butler statue ready to hold your aged brandy – nothing weird about that.  $69.95


Saber Tooth Tiger Skull: Just because you flunked archaeology class, twice, doesn’t mean you can’t fool friends of your archeological discoveries. $98.95


Zombie Of The Moors: Oddly enough, this wasn’t even listed in the Halloween section, but even still, the living dead in your rose garden is awesome all year round. $89.95


Skyrest Travel Pillow: When you need to let everyone on the plane know what a douche you are. Accept no substitutes. Humiliation is only $29.95


Satanic Skull Sculpture: Another terrific product found in the home decor section, perfect for making you wet your pants when you get up in the night for a glass of water. $34.95


Bigfoot Tree Yeti: Because one yeti in your yard just isn’t enough. $69.95


Cosmetic Teeth: Nothing wrong with getting some new chompers to build self confidence, but ask yourself, “Is it really in my best interest to order these from a catalog?” $39.98


Electric Personal Transporter: Is it a Segway or a scooter? One thing’s for sure, you won’t be picking up any ladies with that basket. $1,895


Wireless Color Mirror Camera: Now you can finally make your house just like a police interrogation room and spy on all those who enter with a camera built-in mirror. $499.95


Dragon Table: Owning every Lord of the Rings piece of merch just isn’t enough, command the full respect from your Dungeons and Dragons buddies with this elegant dragon coffee table. $275


Bug Vacuum: I try really hard to be open minded, but this is just stupid. Grab a broom and knock the bug down like everyone else on the planet does, Mary. $59.95


Spa-n-a-Box: How many times have you been staying with somebody who doesn’t even offer you the courtesy of a hot tub? Suffer no more, with this portable spa that’s as convenient as… $999


Basho The Sumo Table: If you haven’t noticed, we’re kinda a fan of the sumo wrestler around here. In fact we’re ordering two of these express delivery. $225

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