Remember how magical Disney’s Beauty and the Beast was with the singing candlestick and that talking clock? This is exactly like that. Only the clock has been replaced with a crackhead and that singing candlestick has been switched with a jealous hoodrat. Oh, and pretty much everybody in Bell’s new hood wants to get a piece of her bread basket. Other than those minor changes, it’s exactly like the cartoon version from your childhood.
I’m sure this parody of “Somebody That I Used to Know” is going to make George Lucas take a long look at what he’s done to the Star Wars franchise… before he goes back to swimming in his pool of money. Hey, at least it’s not another “Call Me Maybe” parody, right?
Meet Vardan Aslanyan, the new dumbass darling of the internet. This alleged junkie genius led cops on a 45-minute chase spanning four freeways, reaching speeds topping 100 mph and ending in a smash-up that hurt a kid. But his idiocy reached epic proportions when an on-scene reporter stuck a microphone in his face and Aslanyan said he did it “’cause I got swag and wanted to make it look good.” When asked about being whacked on smack, Aslanyan spat out this soon-to-be-classic gem: “What is drugs?”
Hoes that talk back, johns that need to pay up, chumps that are tryin’ to step – the troubles in your life just float away with the hypnotic loop of a pimp on a treadmill. It doesn’t make sense, but pimptastic mysteries never do.
Why spend time and money producing a slick-looking Batman parody when you could just slice up some cardboard, scotch-tape a few garbage bags and streak through the streets like a frat boy while growling motor-revving sound effects? Stupid? Damn right it’s stupid. Funny? Just try not to laugh.