83-Year-Old Rapper Kwayzar Ain’t Livin’ in Limp Dick City

Watch out, Jay-Z! Hip-hop has a new elder statesman and his name is Kwayzar. Kwayzar is an 83-year-old rapper who just released his first single titled, “I Can Still Do It.” Yes, it’s about his ability to still have sex.

Kwayzar is all about the bitches.

The song vacillates between its meditations on staying healthy (doing Pilates, eating kale) and banging chicks (he ain’t livin’ in limp dick city). Although, he does occasionally combine the two to reach new heights of brilliance. I’ll never forget where I was when I heard Kwayzar rap about lathering his body in low-fat yogurt. That was a moment on par with the first time I ever laid my eyes on a Van Gogh painting.

Bow before your new rap overlord, Kwayzar.

Oh, and before you go thinking that he’s an anomaly, check out our collection of the 20 awesomest senior citizens.

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