10 Worst Christmas Gifts Available on Etsy

etsy bird
With the holidays coming around, it’s time to pretend you actually made an effort to get those presents you’re obligated to buy for those no good rat finks you call a family. That’s where Etsy comes in, a fully independent artist based website, where you can buy unique art, clothing, and useless trinkets to litter your house with, straight from Picasso himself. Buyer beware though, because for every cleverly alternative bird print that’s available, there’s a pile of bird feces. Here’s the Top 10 Worst Gifts on Etsy.

1.Obama, Jay-Z, Chris Brown, Usher

“Nice shot Jay-Z, I sure am glad we had this generic black celebrity party.”

2.cinnabun earring

Yep…that’s spooge.

3.raccoon bag

That will go nicely with that mini-skirt you have made of possum faces.

4.chair leg warmers etsy
chair warmers, etsy

Seriously, how many cats do you think the person that made this has? I’m going with more than seven.

5.mountain dew jam, etsy

You can just slather some up on some Fritos and have yourself a day, yes sir.

6.chicken belt,

Yeah, don’t let your pets ruin the chicken talons on your belt. Then they wouldn’t be cool anymore.

7.bird, etsy

Well $45 is a lot of money, but the séance is on Saturday!

8.mumpfs, etsy

God…I just f***ing hate you.

9.beard, etsy

It is quite the conversation starter. “So I noticed you’re both idiots.”


Nothing like explaining to your daughter the intricacies of her biological development into adulthood like a disgusting representation of her uterus made of streamers and Jolly Ranchers.

Via Regretsy.

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