You’ve seen Miracle on 34th Street, White Christmas and all the other holiday standards that fill your head with pipe dreams of the perfect Christmas. Sorry to break it to you, but that magical Christmas ain’t happening. Let us paint a more accurate picture of what you can expect come December 25th. Good luck with the relatives…
You’ve probably got thoughts of wonderful gadgets like floofloovers, whohoopers and iPhones in your head.
If you’re depending on Santa, you most likely won’t get any of that.
Sorry, the truth hurts.
It’s best not to float all your wishes and dreams on a guy in a fake beard at the mall.
Shopping for loved ones is going to have it’s rough spots.
The Christmas spirit is generally vacant on the roadways.
And folks in the stores may not always offer a joyful hello.
Plus, shopping can be rather exhausting and leave you feeling like this…
As draining as the holidays may seem, remember there’s somebody out there who’s got it worse than you.
And your relatives will soon be coming by for a visit. Better get ready.
If you’re lucky you won’t have to see them again until next November.
…Or their annoying offspring.
Still, they WILL expect you to impress them with a full-blown Christmas.
Did we mention their kids are probably going to annoy the crap out of you?
But that’s what holiday hooch is for.
Drink enough and you won’t even notice that dry turkey.
Just shovel more food in your face and you won’t even half to make awkward conversation with your strange 2nd cousin.
And try to avoid getting stuck at the kids’ table.
The holidays can often be a anxious and painful experience.
Just remember that you’re not alone in the Christmas suffering.
Maybe you’ll even get lucky and actually get what you asked for this year.
But probably not.
Put on your grown-up pants…
And wish your loved ones a happy New Year as you bid them farewell.