Comedy

Annoying Celebs and Why Affordable Space Travel is Bad

In the wake of an American government that is no longer interested in traveling to the moon, a team of ex-NASA execs have taken up the charge. The start-up is called Golden Spike, and for $1.5 billion (that’s billion, with a b) they’ll ferry you and a pal to the moon. Technically that’s just $750 million a person, which actually puts the price-tag well within reach of several of the world’s elite. But here at Heavy, we’re not worried about the uber-wealthy traveling to the moon. If Bill Gates wants to sail a few golfballs into a crater, go for it. What we’re most concerned about is when the price drops to something a bit more affordable.

We call it the Kardashian Range. It’s essentially the price-tag that enables an Uggs-shaped footprint to desecrate the lunar surface. The range represents the sliding scale of moon travel affordability. From the Kardashians, to trust fund hipsters, right down to Honey Boo Boo. And it’s closer than you think.

Consider this: One of the first commercial airline flights in 1914 took less than two hours, including stops due to technical difficulties, and cost about nine grand in today’s dollars. That same flight today would likely cost you less than 100 bucks. Assuming a similar arc for spaceflight, we could be looking at a $20 million lunar trip in about 50 years.

So basically, unless you’ve got big Powerball aspirations or are getting ready to drop out of Harvard to found the next big tech company, you’re going to have to suck it up and watch a lot of annoying people travel to space and the moon. Just try not get too depressed when we’re all subjected to the Real World: Lunar Edition.

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