Look Out!: The 10 Worst New Year’s Fireworks Fails

New Year’s Eve is primetime for colorful explosions in the sky, and a death knell for migrating birds. How soon we forget the delicate truce of flame and man can be broken with large quantities of grain alcohol and incompetence. Take cover with the 10 Worst New Year’s Fireworks Fails.

Apparently the roll of paper towels you used as a holder wasn’t quite up to the task. Perhaps next time you could just wedge the explosives in a pile of rags soaked in kerosene.

(explicit language)
I hear Shlitz tastes way better after multiple explosions to the face.

[BoxTitle]“The beacon! The beacon of Amon Dîn is lit!”[/BoxTitle]

It’s a Lord of The Rings reference…sorry.

[BoxTitle]Maniacal Cackling[/BoxTitle]

Nothing is funnier than narrowly escaping horrible injury.

[BoxTitle]How Are You Not Dead?[/BoxTitle]

They say this happens after every Eagles game.

[BoxTitle]Fireworks From The Mouth[/BoxTitle]

I should probably fill this space in with a joke about Amsterdam and smoking pot, like “oh, you lit the wrong one” or something, but I feel an indictment of the Dutch people as a whole is uncalled for in this situation. Seriously, though, you were probably really high when you did this.

[BoxTitle]The Bombing of San Diego[/BoxTitle]

In what was supposed to be one of the largest displays in the country, these cats accidentally lit everything off at once. Hope that 15 seconds of awesomeness tides you over till next year.

[BoxTitle]Shell Shocked[/BoxTitle]
Anyone else feel like Tom Hanks at the end of Saving Private Ryan?

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