Comedy

How Facebook Graph Search Will Improve and Ruin Your Life

facebook graph search, good or bad?

Facebook is about to revolutionize your life again, or at least that’s what they’re hoping to do. It’s called Graph Search and Facebook captain Mark Zuckerberg is calling it the ‘third pillar’ of his social media universe. Whether it becomes a third pillar or just a footnote remains to be seen, but essentially it scans the Facebook for friends of friends of friends who liked, have or know what you’re looking for. Just look at the screwed up bizarre stuff we found with it.

“Hey Facebook Graph Search, where can I find true love?”

Maybe a single girl who’s into Babylon 5 tattoos.
Perhaps a guy who likes traditional Vietnamese folk music.
A girl who is serving time in federal prison.
A transsexual who from Vermont who enjoys French cooking.
Justin Bieber or Justin Bieber look-a-like.

facebook graph search, dating

“Hey Facebook Graph Search, what kind of restaurant can I find in New York City?”

Maybe you’ve got a shameful craving for illegal bushmeat.
How about a four star restaurant that you’ll be embarrassingly unable to afford and underdressed for?
A dirty Burger King might float your boat.
Perhaps a Brooklyn deli with hairy Italian men shouting at you for your order.
That super cheesy overpriced Times Square restaurant your aunt said you must try.

facebook graph search, where to eat


facebook graph search, guy's american kitchen and bar

“Hey Facebook Graph Search, can you provide some helpful life advice?”

How do I get my girlfriend back? Search friends of Jennifer that haven’t blocked me yet.
What’s this weird yellow-ish growth on my pinky toe? Search friends that took a semester of nursing at community college.
How many guns is too many guns? Search friends who like the NRA.
Is a face tattoo a good idea: Search unemployed friends with tattoos.
What should I invest in? Search friends who are billionaires or lottery winners.

facebook graph search, dating


facebook graph search, tattoos

“Hey Facebook Graph Search, can you help me find some great shopping deals?”

If you’re looking for mainstream goth clothing: Hot Topic stores in Dallas, TX.
Maybe you’re looking for black market organs: Mexico
Perhaps you need a gift that your grandmother will love: Cracker Barrel restaurants on I-75.
Looking for overpriced toys that your cat will play with for 20 minutes and never touch again. Pet Smart stores nationwide.

facebook graph search, shopping

Facebook’s Graph Search: Top 10 Facts You Need to Know

It revolutionizes Facebook search — but it's not a web search engine.

Click here to read more

Sign up for the madness here.

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