Comedy

Several Awful and Bizarre Yelp Reviews

Yelp sure can be useful. By allowing customers to post reviews in a public domain, restaurants are held to a higher standard of accountability and consistency, and if you’re like most people, you probably use it to find the highest-rated, affordable place in a convenient location. Fortunately, Yelp it’s also a place where crazy people can express themselves freely, and stupidly. For example…

First off, a review of a train station, specifically the J/M/Z Myrtle-Broadway stop in Brooklyn, New York.

train-review-JMZ
Wow, truly insightful.
Next up, a court house? We don’t know, the actual title is just…


Jury Duty. San Francisco, California
Screen Shot 2013-02-11 at 10.42.22 AM
Ok fine, the American justice system isn’t known for its expediency in selecting jurors, but you’re on THE INTERNET using a HANDHELD COMPUTER in a DEMOCRATIC COUNTRY. Wow, how terrible your life is, except that the vast majority of Earth dreams of having any one of those things.


Central Park. New York City, New York
Screen Shot 2013-02-11 at 4.08.16 PM
She thinks that Central Park is a service where you get in a taxi and are driven around the park. Notice that she says NOT ONE DETAIL about the actual park, just the random notion she made up of paying a cabbie to drive you through a tour of it. Congrats, you’re awful.


Hartfield-Jackson Airport. Atlanta, Georgia
ATL airporrrt
I’m not sure if this guy is really easy to please, or almost impossible. Like, even something that is 5 stars is just OK with him, or anything that’s ok is 5 stars? I’m going to be charitable and label him a mere imbecile.


Burger King. Detroit, Michigan.
bk detroit
Yes I Was There When It Happened coming this summer to a theater near you. Still, I can’t bring myself to make fun of this guy as his “Dis Service” joke makes me only wonder what makes him want to provide diss service? Bum-bum-chi. Ok, I’ll see myself out.


7/11. Phoenix, Arizona
711-phx
He thinks he’s mad because he went to 7-Eleven and a foreign guy thought a taquito went on a hot dog bun, but he’s really mad because he went to 7-Eleven (on his own will) to get a hot dog that’s been cooking for nine hours. Get a car, bro.


Subway. Detroit, Michigan
FLIEZFIXED
Valid, but you lost everyone alive at the grammatical atrocity that is FLIES IN A RESTAURANT WITH BULLETPROOF GLASS IN THE WINTER.

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