Comedy

How to Eat Ketchup and 4 Other Life Changing Tips

How to eat Ketchup

Wouldn’t you’d like to learn how to pee at the movies without missing a thing or how to tell time without having a watch handy? Check out our 5 Things You Should Know. Your life may very well depend on it!

1. How to pee at he movies without missing a thing.
bane-pee

You’re halfway through the movie and you realize that chugging that large coke within the first 30 minutes of the film was a bit too ambitious for your bladder. But there’s a scene coming up that you want to see, a NUDE scene. That’s the only reason you even came to see this crappy film. Well, Steve Jobs’ zombie would like to let you know that there’s an app for that called RunPee.


RunPee informs you of the best time to exit a movie to relieve yourself and also informs you of the things that you missed while you were gone. Let’s see Siri do that.

2. How to avoid bad dogs.
big dog
Little dogs are cute aren’t they? They’re so furry and playful. You know what’s not cute? Taking your dog for a walk and watching a dog the size of a small vehicle try to rip it to shreds. But never fear, The Yellow Dog Project will help you identify those K-9s with emotional issues from a distance so that you may avoid them, both for your safety and little Fluffy’s.


3. Proper tea etiquette.
how to drink tea
Proper tea etiquette shows you have class and a good perosonaliTEA, so you should learn how to drink it correctly and save yourself the embarrassment of looking uncivilized. Nothing worse than taking tea Japanese style when you’re in Argentina. Don’t forget your pinkies!


4.How to dip your french fries.
ketchup
No, this is not a lecture on double dipping, George Costanza already covered that for us. You should know that ketchup cups in fast food restaurants open up for wider dipping areas. So get that ketchup and that mayonnaise and make yourself some sexy sauce for those naughty fries.

Your friends would be so into this, share it!

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5. How to tell time without a watch.
time
With all the craziness that’s been happening lately we’re pretty sure that the apocalypse is nigh. Having said that, we believe that it’s necessary to be able to survive without electronics. Being able to tell how long you have until sundown can help you from encountering the undead on your journey to find clean water.


You’re welcome.
There you have it, 5 things we think you should know. Make sure to follow me on Twitter and check out my youtube channel.

What do you think we should know?
Are there any interesting facts that you think we should know? Shoot me an e-mail to purcival@heavy.com and maybe we’ll mention it in a future post.

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