Celebrities

Trainwreck 100: Bobby Brown

Trainwreck 100

Oh, celebrities: they suck, yet we can’t stop thinking about them. But who is truly the world’s most worthless celebrity? Here at Heavy, we use science to answer these questions. Using a complex series of algorithms that monitor blog mentions, videos, and other Internet and media traffic, we have distilled the world’s celebrities into an orderly list of 100 attention-seeking douchebags. Every day, we’ll debut another entry on the list, counting down to the ultimate celebrity trainwreck.

Let’s test your stupid celebrity skills, shall we? The next entrant into the Trainwreck 100 started out in a mega-popular boy band, but was voted out of the group by the other four members because of his nasty on-stage behavior. He then started a hugely successful solo career that crashed and burned after he demanded full creative control of his fourth album, fired all the producers (including R. Kelly and Sean Combs), and wrote all of the (terrible) songs himself. Then he married and divorced one of the most famous singers in the world, dragging her down into an abyss of drug abuse and reality TV. Can you guess who it is?

Bobby Brown

Number ninety-eight is Bobby Brown! After a strong start as a member of New Edition, Bobby’s career has seen some pretty heavy ups and downs. While in the group, he feuded with Ralph Tresvant on-stage, humping whatever came near and cutting into Tresvant’s vocal leads. After being booted from the group, he put out three solo albums featuring a lot of songs about pussy and the getting of pussy, becoming one of the hottest artists of the ’90s. His fourth record, Forever, sank like a stone and Bobby chose to focus on his marriage to Whitney Houston and essentially destroying her life, career, and sanity. The pair beat the crap out of each other, did all the drugs in the universe, and starred in the amazing Being Bobby Brown before divorcing in 2006. Since the divorce, Whitney has managed to recover some of her former fame, while Bobby has a warrant out for his arrest in Massachusetts, owes $45,000 in child support on two of his five kids, and has unbelievable anti-gay freakouts on Australian TV – check the video below.

Check out the Trainwreck 100 archive here.

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