Oh, celebrities: they suck, yet we can’t stop thinking about them. But who is truly the world’s most worthless celebrity? Here at Heavy, we use science to answer these questions. Using a complex series of algorithms that monitor blog mentions, videos, and other Internet and media traffic, we have distilled the world’s celebrities into an orderly list of 100 attention-seeking douchebags. Every day, we’ll debut another entry on the list, counting down to the ultimate celebrity trainwreck.
With the ascension of Barack Obama to the Presidency, the right-wing resistance has found itself increasingly marginalized, catering to an audience of conspiracy freaks, repressed racists and the outrageously dumb. Today’s trainwreck has become the most successful spokesman for the far right by dint of having absolutely no compunctions about pandering to the xenophobic core, whether it be implying that Obama wants universal health care as a way of getting reparations for slavery or asking a Muslim-American Congressman if he was “working with America’s enemies.” Who is this tinkertoy trainwreck? Find out after the jump.
Number eighty-five in the Trainwreck 100 is Glenn Beck. Starting out as a wacky zany morning radio drivetime DJ, Beck quickly found that middle America liked their toilet flushing sound effects and Nickelback mixes with a little bit of old-fashioned fearmongering. In 2000, he launched his own show, which pushed the politics hard, and with the collapse of the Bush Doctrine he’s ramped his act into overdrive. Threatening to kill Michael Moore on the air, writing books that his fan base can’t read, or claiming that ACORN is going to have him killed, Beck is a laugh a minute. Good thing he and his people are completely powerless! Check out this hilarious video of a drug-addled Beck recuperating from hemmorhoid surgery.