It’s been reported that Megan Fox has been kicked to the curb by visionary director Michael Bay and won’t be appearing in his artistic masterpiece, Transformers 3. It’s not all bad for Fox, though. I mean, she did star in those Oscar winning epics Transformers and Transformers 2: The Legend of Curly’s Gold, so it’s not like she isn’t universally recognized as one of the world’s most talented and versatile actresses, capable of leaning both over a motorcycle and over the hood of a car in tight pants. You just can’t find that kind of talent anywhere, you know.
So, what’s next for Megan Fox? Well, as I said, her talent will no doubt land her the lead role in a variety of blockbuster hits, like Revenge of the Nerds VI: Nerds in Hell or Hollywood Hot Tub or Bikini Car Wash 18. Or maybe even a new Steven Seagal flick, depending on how horny ol’ Steve is.
The point is, is that the lady has options. Even if she wants to leave acting forever, Megan Fox has proven time and time again that she is a deep thinker, and it’s only a matter of time before she is recognized alongside men such as Plato or Socrates as one of the foremost minds of the Western world.
But even the most gifted of us cannot find true happiness without a deep and fulfilling personal life. Thankfully, Megan Fox has struck gold here too, finding her match made in heaven, every girl’s dream Brian Austin Green. So what if that dream was from 1992 and even then, only the retarded girls with incredibly low self esteem lusted for rap-master David Silver? That hunk of beef belongs to Megan Fox, ladies. So back the hell off.
Truly, Megan Fox has the world at her fingertips now that she isn’t being held back by the cruel restraints of Michael Bay. Now she can really spread her wings and fly. Maybe she’ll become a research scientist and find the cure for morning wood? (PS: There already exists a cure and it’s awesome.) Or maybe she will become President Obama‘s special ambassador to the retard community. Everyone needs a voice.
Look, you might look at Megan Fox being axed from Transformers 3 as the end of her career. But as Genghis Khan famously said, always look on the bright side of life. You saw where that got him and as long as Megan Fox keeps a positive attitude (agrees to go topless) and doesn’t mind a little hard work (on the stripper pole) or is willing to work with fellow geniuses and visionaries (such as Larry Flynt), she can extend her career another six months. Easy. So take that, Michael Bay.