Oh, celebrities: they suck, yet we can’t stop thinking about them. But who is truly the world’s most worthless celebrity? Here at Heavy, we use science to answer these questions. Using a complex series of algorithms that monitor blog mentions, videos, and other Internet and media traffic, we have distilled the world’s celebrities into an orderly list of 100 attention-seeking douchebags. Every day, we’ll debut another entry on the list, counting down to the ultimate celebrity trainwreck.
This singer came to public attention with her amazing voice and smoky neo-soul arrangements, but it wasn’t long before the veneer shattered and America discovered that she was actually just a scandalous trashbag with a soft spot for cheesy dudes and hard drugs. But that only made us love her more, in some ways. Multiple on-stage breakdowns, bad tattoos and horrendous paparazzi shots later, this former shining star of the music firmament has become just another tabloid joke, flashing her misshapen fake hooters and begging for attention like so much Myspace.
Damn right it’s Amy Winehouse. The Wino has been God’s gift to celebrity stalkers in the last few years – never before have we had such a devastating combination of God-given talent and Satanic self-destruction. Whether it be self-mutilation with ex-husband and crack pusher Blake Fielder-Civil, breaking down crying during her rare stage performances, or insane YouTube rap performances, Amy is the very definition of a celebrity trainwreck, and it’s unsurprising that she’d land on the list. Check out this utterly unwatchable clip of a bombed-out Wino trying to bust rhymes.