Celebrities

The LeBron James Hour

The Lebron James Hour

ESPN is making the unprecedented decision to set aside an hour of its prime-time programming schedule tonight for LeBron James to make his announcement of what team he will sign with out of free agency.  But what else can we expect from the two-time MVP during the program?  Heavy has the scoop:

Mike Tirico will mention LeBron’s involvement in a shadowy conspiracy to infiltrate and overthrow the government of Lesotho, casting a strange pall over the evening’s proceedings. (~3 minutes)

Andrea Kremer is allowed to feel LeBron’s biceps, and comments that “they’re as hard as my nipples.” (~2 minutes)

LeBron will watch an episode of The Cleveland Show with Stuart Scott, and occasionally nod silently in response to Stu’s attempts at conversation. ( ~21 minutes)

Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser will attempt to engage LeBron in playful banter, to which LeBron will respond by smiling like he was thinking about something else, requiring that they rephrase their questions and comments in fewer words, to which he will still not respond. (~6 minutes)

LeBron and the ESPN staff will stage a reenactment of LeBron’s favorite play, Equus, with LeBron taking the role of the horse. (~18 minutes)

ESPN will present LeBron with a trophy for Free Agent of the Year, which LeBron will leave on the set, and which will later be taken home by Keyshawn Johnson.  (~3 minutes)

Finally, the long-awaited premiere of a new SportsCenter commercial starring LeBron James as a guy who works in an office and wears a basketball jersey. (~2 min)

A montage of LeBron’s greatest moments from the regular season and first three rounds of the playoffs. (~5 minutes)

LeBron announces he’s going to stay in Cleveland because he wants to spend time with his new step-father, Delonte West. (~1 minute)

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