Really, all awards show moments are stupid – what is this neverending fascination we have with watching artificial people pretend to be thankful for a fancy doorstop? But the following ten moments are so all-fired dumb that they push the envelope… please.
10. 50 Cent’s Grammy stroll-by. We all give Kanye credit for screwing up white ladies’ acceptance speeches, but 50 did it earler and better – in 2004, when Evanescence’s Amy Lee was giving her heartfelt acceptance speech for her Best New Artist award, Fiddy got up and walked slowly across the stage “in protest for rap music not being recognized.” Curtis, just because you wear those brassiere tank tops doesn’t make you a lady.
9. Krist Novoselic knocks himself the F out. At the 1992 VMA’s grunge was king and Nirvana was the king of kings. Unsuprisingly, the iconoclastic Seattle band didn’t have a ton of respect for the sacred institution of the Video Music Awards, teasing a performance of “Rape Me” before ending the set in an orgy of noise and violence – bassist Novoselic threw his axe up into the air and, instead of getting out of the way, let it slam him right in the face, knocking him unconscious. What were his bandmates doing? Well, Cobain was wearing a dress and future Foo Fighter Dave Grohl was repeating “Hi, Axl” into a microphone.
8. Kathy Griffin blasphemes at the Emmys. Okay, I still hate Kathy Griffin, but even I have to admit her acceptance speech for her 2007 Best Reality Program Emmy kind of ruled: “A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now!” Unfortunately for her, the Best Reality Program presentation is pre-taped, not live, so her eternal damnation was left on the cutting room floor. See you in Hell, Kathy!