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Mayoral Candidate Promises Fried Dough and More Explosives

Tom Corrigan’s beloved city may be on the verge of a crippling economic crisis, but that’s no reason they can’t take pride with a kick-ass fireworks display. Unlike his competitor Bill Thompson, who’s sole purpose is road maintenance, mayoral candidate Tom Corrigan know that if a town can’t stand behind it’s July 4th fireworks and fried dough stands it’s nothing. Not only does Tom promise light up the night sky with an excessive and possibly dangerous amount of explosives, but he’s gonna back it up with Katy Perry’s “Fireworks” and “Fireworks Remix”. God bless that crazy sumbitch.

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