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First World Problems PSA: What Are You Gonna Do With All That Food?!

Millions of American and over privileged brats spend minutes enduring the hardships of ordering the wrong latte or waiting in line for a white iPhone 5, only to be smited with a black one. It’s a tragic reality for the countless victims living in first world nations.

Just how many Facebook status updates can one person have ignored before the cold hand of social death grips hold? How many jars of jelly and peanut butter must one open to make a sandwich?

For as little as five hours of attention a day, you can offer the acquaintances in your life the constant reassurance of social value they so desperately need. Don’t ignore them any longer, the enjoyment of their casual Saturday afternoon may depend on it.

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