Worst of Netflix: Tales From The Crapper

Between the features, Kaufman comes back for another vignette, a truly awful ten-minute piece on how you can make your own terrible short film, which I can only assume was meant to either meet a length requirement or make sure it violated the Geneva conventions.

After that, it’s the second feature, and while it’s worlds better than the first story, it’s still pretty f—ing far from “good.” Mainly the problem – which is actually pointed out by a Troma editor in a scene where she stops the movie, complains about it, and then is killed by chocolate pudding produced from Lloyd Kaufman’s ass – is that it just makes no sense.

A guy finds out that he’s not going to get any money for college, and then, because he has no money, he decides to hire a stripper who makes house calls, as played by Julie Strain (star of 2002’s Bare Wench Project 3: Nymphs of Mystery Mountain). Then, because he can’t pay her the money he owes her, he has to rely on his friends to give her a ride home.

Incidentally, it’s worth noting that one of the friends in this scenario is played by Lost star Jorge Garcia, whose scenes are so bad that even Boner-Vision can’t improve them…

Tales From The Crapper

…thus necessitating Doggie-Vision. And, all right, you got me: That’s pretty Goddamn funny.

Anyway, keeping up the trend of defying all logic, Julie Strain (star of 1997’s Bikini Hotel) decides to work for the guys who can’t pay her in order to throw a super-huge stripper party to pay for their friend’s tuition. With me so far? Good, because this is where it starts to get stupid: As it turns out, Julie Strain (star of 2002’s .com For Murder), along with her fellow strippers Masuimi Max and Girl Whose Name I Didn’t Catch…

Tales From The Crapper

…are actually vampires.

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