Entertainment

ABC’s ‘Shark Tank’: Top 10 Worst Products Ever

ABC’s “Shark Tank” has worked its way up the TV ladder over the past few years. Contestants pitch their product or business to a panel of angel investors (AKA: The Sharks) in the hope of securing a major cash investment. The show has been a huge success and currently boasts Sharks/investors like Mark Cuban (owner of the Dallas Mavericks) and Daymond John (founder of FUBU).

There have been a ton of awesome ideas pitched on the show. Products like a medicine dispenser for young children, an award winning barbecue sauce and single serving ready-to-drink wine in a glass have been cash cows for The Sharks that invested. That being said, for every good product that the Sharks get in on there are 5 terrible products that they pass on.

Here are the top 10 worst products pitched in the “Shark Tank”:

1. The No Fly Cone

The No Fly Cone is a unique fly trap invented by professional horse riding teacher, Bruce Gaither. How does it work? place the NFC over your dog’s poop and then it catches flies that start to buzz around it. The product sucks and Seth McFarlane shows up to perform one of the most forced cameos in TV history. A fly trap that relies on people leaving dog poop around the house, lets play a game where we list all the reasons why this is a terrible invention.
– It is a product that relies on dog poop.
– The company is based around a premise that people leave dog poop around the house.
– Seth McFarlane’s Stewie voice is getting old.
At the end of the day Gaither couldn’t secure an investment for the No Fly Cone, probably because his invention stunk more than his poo poo covered home.


2. Toygaroo

Toygaroo was an idea that stay-at-home moms thought was genius but everyone else thought was stupid. Toygaroo was an online toy renting service for children. You would order a toy online and then when you were done playing with the toys you would send it back and get more toys. Think of Toygaroo as the Netflix of play stuff. Founder Nikki Pope was able to secure investment from Mark Cuban and Robert Herjavec, sadly Toygaroo went under shortly after.


3. I Want to Draw a Cat for You

A stupid idea that actually has gone on to be a bit of a cash cow. I Want to Draw a Cat for You is exactly what the name says it is, owner Steve Gadlin wants to draw a cat for you. For just under 10 bucks “Cat” Stevens (sorry, couldn’t resist) will send you a personal piece of feline art work. Mark Cuban bought into the madness of IWTDACFY, he invested $25k for a 33% equity share. I Want to Draw a Cat for You has gone on to see solid profits.


4.Throx

Aside from the fact that the guy who invented this is a complete nut job, Throx is arguably the worst invention in the history of Shark Tank. Throx are socks that come in packs of 3. Lose a sock? fine, you have two left. Lost another sock? you’re screwed. The Sharks didn’t bite and Throx went back to the drawing board (Frox? Fivox? Sox? THE SKY IS THE LIMIT!)


5.Ledgepillow
(Start video at 13:00)

This is a pillow for women with large breasts. Apparently ladies have an issue where if they lay on their stomachs their boobs hurt and this fixes that… Yeah, the sharks didn’t think that was a good idea either. No Sharks invested meaning that the plight of the ample bosomed female continues.


6. The Uro Club

Dr. Flyod Seskin finally has an answer for the age old problem of men who need to pee but are golfing and too lazy to go find the nearest tree/bathroom. The Uro Club is a hollow golf club which doubles as a urinal. All users have to do is stick their “9 iron” into the tip of the club and then pee. So the choice is yours men, do the most degrading thing in the world OR walk 20 feet to the nearest tree and drain the dragon. Resident Shark Kevin Harrington loved the pee club, he invested $25k for 70% of the company.


7. Wake N’ Bacon
(start at 16:30)

This is an example of an idea that sounds good until you actually think about it. The Wake N’ Bacon alarm clock is an alarm clock that also cooks bacon. You set the timer and the Wake N’ Bacon starts will sizzle up some bacon for you so that it is ready when you get up. Listen, I like Bacon as much as the next guy BUT the idea of bacon frying up right next to my bed sounds like a fire hazard waiting to happen.


8. City Kitty

City Kitty is toilet training program for cats (Ugh, I hated that sentence as I wrote it). Watch the City Kitty commercial above and get angry that America needs a product like this. The worst part? Kevin Harrington payed $100,000 for a 20% stake in the company.


9. Wired Waffles

Waffles, meet Red Bull. Red Bull, Meet Waffles. Wired Waffles are waffles that are infused with 200mg of caffeine. How much is that? one waffle equals 3 cups of coffee (thats 2.5 cans of Red Bull or one 5 Hour Energy). WW is a decent idea but there were some issues that made the product uninvestable, biggest among them is that the waffles tasted like bull poop. No Sharks invested.


10. Under-Ease

Underwear that eliminates odors from flatulence. Translation: Underwear you can fart in (which is every pair of underwear, right?). No Sharks invested.

Eitan Levine is a New York City based comic. Follow him on Twitter at @Eitanthegoalie .

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