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“The Chanukah Song” was originally performed by Adam Sandler on SNL’s Weekend Update on December 3, 1994. It was written by the comedian himself along with SNL writers Lewis Morton and Ian Maxtone-Graham, and was later integrated into Sandler’s stand-up routine, where it was updated with new lyrics.
The first part was released as part of Sandler’s 1996 comedy album What the Hell Happened to Me?. Part II came out in 1999, and was recorded on his 1999 album Stan and Judy’s Kid.
Read on for lyrics for both parts of Adam Sandler’s “Chanukah Song”.
Part 1
Put on your yarmulke
It’s time for Hanukkah
So much fun-uka
To celebrate Hanukkah
Hanukka is, the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents
We get eight crazy nights
When you fell like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
Here’s a list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me
David Lee Roth lights the menorah
So does James Caan, Kirk Douglas and the late Dina
Shora
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
Bowser from Sha NaNa and Arthur Fonzerelli.
Paul Newman’s half Jewish, Goldie Hawn’s half, too.
Put them together, what a fine looking Jew
You don’t need “Deck the Halls” or “Jingle Bell Rock”
‘Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock
Both Jewish!
O.J. Simpson, not a Jew
But guess who is, Hall of Famer Rod Carew
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford’s a quarter Jewish
Not too shabby
Some people think that Ebenezer Scrogge is
Well he’s not, but guess who is
All three stooges
So many Jews are in show biz
Tom Cruise isnt, but I heard his agent is
Tell your friend Veronica
It’s time to celebrat Hanukkah
Don’t forget harmonica
On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah
So drink your gin and tonic-a
And smoke your maraijuana-ca
If you really, really, really, really wanna-ka
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, Hannukah
Happy Hanukkah
Part 2
Time to take out the menorahs!
Put on your yarmulke
Its time for Chanukah
So much fun-ukah
To celebrate Chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents
We get eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
Here’s a new list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me
Winona Ryder,
Drinks Manischewitz wine
Then spins a dreidel with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein
Guess who gives and receives
Loads of Chanukah toys
The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys
Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish,
Courtney Love is half, too
Put them together
What a funky, bad ass Jew!
We got Harvey Keitel
And flash dancer Jennifer Beals
Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish
And yes, her boobs are real
Put on that yarmulke
Its time for Chanukah
2 time Ocsar-winning Dustin Hoffman-akah
celebrates Chanukah
O.J. Simpson
Still not a Jew
But guess who is,
The guy who does the voice for Scooby-Doo
Bob Dylan was born a Jew
Then he wasn’t
but now he’s back,
Mary Tyler Moore’s husband is Jewish
‘Cause we’re pretty good in the sack.
Guess who got bar-mitzvahed
On the PGA tour
No, I’m not talking about Tiger Woods
I’m talking about Mr. Happy Gilmore.
So many Jews are in the show biz
Bruce Springsteen isn’t Jewish
But my mother thinks he is.
Tell the world-amanaka
It’s time to celebrate Chanukah
It’s not pronounced “Chon”ukah
The C is silent in Chanukah
So read your hooked on phon-ukah
Get drunk in Tijuan-ukah
If you really, really wann-ukah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah!
Happy Chanukah!