Video games, man – they rule. They rule! But one thing that has traditionally not ruled is the cover art. Whether it be because old-school 8-bit games just didn’t give a poor underpaid artist much to go on or just last-minute marketing oversight, there have been some truly horrendous covers for video game packages. Here’s 20 of the most hideous.

Celebrity endorsements are usually pretty good for selling games. But who wants to look at the sagging face of Tommy Lasorda peering out at them from the shelves of EB Games? This might as well read “Buy Something Else.”

I am not so sure that making the cover for your cute bubble-popping puzzle game a tribute to A Clockwork Orange is the best marketing move, Taito. Maybe that means something else.

I sincerely doubt that any badass ninja ever roamed feudal Japan on a Rascal scooter, even one with spikes on it. Extra points to this being declared a “simulator” – I’m sure it boasts accurate scooter physics.

All the excitement of being a funny looking guy with a phone, plus the Outer Glow filter in Photoshop!

Video game boxes never do a good job at making people look “tough.” These guys are supposed to be able to beat their way through a veritable army of street thugs, but they look more like the two lost New Kids On The Block.

They taught me in Boy Scouts that a “chigger” is a kind of pestilent mite that feeds on human skin. I guess this is just a bigger version of one? I don’t think I want to go to this party.

K. Thor Jensen
April 6, 2010 12:00 am