Movies

Stop It, Hollywood: Visions Of The Near Future

Certain actions (some of them completely absurd and unfounded in anything resembling real human behavior) have become so overused in movies and television that they’ve actually transcended being cliches to become parodies of cliches, which is just all sorts of weird. Even if a cease and desist can’t be issued against these incidents, the least we can do is complain about them. Here is an example of the kind of foolishness we never want to see on the big and/or small screen ever again.

An alien race did not attempt to fit in with Los Angeles society in 1991, as was portrayed in Alien Nation (1988).

Escape From New York

New York City did not become a maximum security prison in 1997, as was portrayed in Escape From New York (1981).

SkyNet did not become self-aware in 1997, as was portrayed in Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991).

Not every trash can in Los Angeles was on fire and we didn’t have sensory experience recording technology in 1999, as was portrayed in Strange Days (1995).

We didn’t have cool violent racing in a dystopian society in 2000, as was portrayed in Death Race 2000 (1975).

2001: A Space Odyssey

We did not go on a mission to Jupiter and discover an alien superstructure that prompted the next level of human evolution – and random surges of Strauss’ “Thus Spoke Zarathustra – as was portrayed in 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968).

SkyNet did not become self-aware in 2004, as was portrayed in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003).

There wasn’t a city in which dwelled a race of alien robots in 2005, as was portrayed in Transformers: The Movie (1986). Nor was there a giant planet-eating robot planet.

We probably won’t Make Contact in 2010.

Not a damn thing is going to happen in 2012.

Kevin Costner will not deliver us from a global nuclear war in 2013.

Back To The Future 2

And we highly doubt we’re going to get flying cars and hoverboards in 2015.

Stop it, Hollywood.

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