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Cemetery Junction

Thank God for Ricky Gervais. If not for him, we would be stuck with only a  Miley Cyrus coming of age tale, Zac Efron starring in a period piece, and Brendan Fraser dancing with animals this week. Let’s get to it.

Cemetery Junction – No, this is not Gervais’ attempt at a zombie film, unless finding yourself with a dead end job makes you a zombie. Set in 1970s England, Cemetery Junction tells the story of three friends still trying to figure out what to do with their lives after school ends. Gervais’ sophomore directing effort after the criminally underrated The Invention of Lying, this is the one to drop your shekels on at your favorite mom n’ pop video shop this week. Check out the trailer here.

The Last Song – Many of you don’t know this, but I live in North Carolina. There are two things that we as a state are most proud of: not being South Carolina, and being the birth state of Nicholas Sparks. The state legislature recently passed laws where,  by 2011, beside every South of the Border billboard sign along I-95 there will also be one that reads “Cormac who?” and another that illustrates the difference of total number of DVD copies sold between The Notebook and The Road. It would be somewhere in the neighborhood of one bazillion to five hundred. Oh yeah, The Last Song is the heartwarming tale of Miley Cyrus, a good girl who goes bad because her parents divorce. Years later, her mom sends her to her dad’s for the summer in a last ditch effort to keep her from wearing a mullet wig and embarking on a pop career under a pseudonym. Long story short, she’s saved by some dude’s abs and a bowl of shrimp ‘n grits. Also, Greg Kinnear plays her dad, because in his contract with Satan it specifically states that he must appear in no less than 15 movies a year or his soul is banished to Hell.

Me & Orson Welles – Ah, what to do when you have a good script, a terrific director, and a great supporting cast, but the financing isn’t there? That’s where the desperate cash grab comes into play! In this case, look no further than Zac Efron‘s smiling mug on the cover of Me & Orson Welles‘ DVD box this week. Efron stars as a teenager cast in a Mercury Theatre production of Julius Caesar in 1937.  It really is a shame. This was a script that was being hailed as one of the best of the year, with a performance by Christian McKay (as Orson Welles) that was being touted as a possible Oscar nominee, but for the foreseeable future, any film that wants to be considered serious may want to do itself a favor and stay away from the High School Musical crowd.

Furry Vengeance – Am I the only person that feels bad for Brendan Fraser when they see him star in things like this? Seriously, Crash wasn’t a great movie, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of. The Quiet American should have been enough to keep the jobs coming for a decade at least. But this? A real estate developer picks the wrong forest to knock down, so the animals strike back! This is the same crap they made in the 80s, only they had the decency to hire Jim Varney to star in it. At this point, I realize my grandchildren will be watching The Mummy 15, and Fraser will be still be appearing in them, by that point playing the Mummy. Watch the trailer, you know you want to.

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