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Splice

Gigantic week for movies – although there’s no Dominant A-List Big-Budget Flick hitting screens, there’s instead a bunch of slightly lower lights competing for your attention. Will you laugh with Get Him To The Greek, cheer with Killers, be scared of Splice or be really scared of Marmaduke? Check out our capsule reviews for this week’s new movies.

Splice – You know what’s never a good idea? Human-animal hybrids. That stuff always ends up making creatures that want to eat your face off and/or have sex with you. Hell, Arizona even outlawed it! In this sci-fi horror film, Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley are a couple of kooky geneticists who get famous by creating a number of hybrid animals. But when they want to Step Up 2 The Streets and use human DNA in their next project, their corporate backer says Hell Naw and they’re forced to do it on the down low. Unfortunately, the resultant creature is smart, mean, and likes to kill – just like a human! Watch the trailer.

Killers – Hey! Ashton Kutcher! Glad you could put down your BlackBerry for like sixteen seconds and be in the movie. Kutcher actually produced the flick as well, where he stars opposite Katherine Heigl. So he’s, like, a spy, right? And she doesn’t know about it. I liked this movie better when it was called True Lies and had a bunch of Arab terrorists getting sucked into a jet engine. Watch the trailer.

Get Him To The Greek – I am just perplexed as all hell at the behind-the-scenesedness of this movie. So Nick Stoller (the guy who did Forgetting Sarah Marshall) is sort-of-but-not making a sequel to that (very funny) film where the only returning character is Aldous Snow, the debauched rock god played by Russell Brand. I mean, that’s cool, I guess? The new flick follows Jonah Hill as a hapless music company dogboy who needs to get Snow to a concert alive – a much more difficult proposition when you consider that Brand has sex with Katy Perry on the regular. Watch the trailer.

Marmaduke – So one of Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley’s experiments was a Great Dane who was given the ability to speak. That dog is getting his own spin-off movie and it looks even scarier than Splice. What disgusting acts will Marmaduke (voiced by Owen Wilson) commit against humanity? I’m surprised this one didn’t earn a hard R rating. Watch the trailer.

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