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Resident Evil: Afterlife

This week offers a pretty good haul with two movies that, while they may not be described as high-brow, are sure to be solid entertainment. They are followed by three flicks in limited release, and that’s where things start to get iffy. Now get the hell down in the cellar. You can be the boss down there, but I’m boss up here!

Resident Evil: Afterlife – The world continues to be ravaged by a mutant infection, turning its victims into zombies. Milla Jovovich (The Fifth Element) returns as Alice, back to find survivors and lead them to safety. Ali Larter (Heroes) is also back as Claire Redfield, helping Alice’s ragtag group make its way to Los Angeles and a battle with the Umbrella Corporation. I will definitely be standing in line with the rest of you riff-raff  to see this one tonight. Check out the trailer here.

The Virginity Hit – Produced by the guys behind FunnyorDie.com and written and directed by the guys who wrote last month’s hit The Last Exorcism, this film (shot from the point of view of a friend’s handheld cam) shows what lengths a group of friends will go through to help a buddy get laid for the first time. From internet hookups, experienced older women, pseudo incest, and porn stars, there’s not much this comedy doesn’t touch on. Hilarious!
I’m Still Here (limited) – The (pseudo?) documentary that you were dying to see, then forgot about, now kinda-sorta think you might wait until it hits Netflix to check out. This Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone) directed film showcases Joaquin Phoenix‘s (Walk the Line) transformation from movie star to bearded incoherent wannabe rap star. Supposedly full of scenes that would have been shocking if it had been released a year before Borat.
The Romantics (limited) – Galt Niederhoffer (Prozac Nation) writes and directs this film adaptation of his novel about seven close friends (among them Elijah Wood, Adam Brody, and Malin Akerman) who reunite for a wedding. Old jealousies rise up between the bride (Anna Paquin) and maid of honor (Katie Holmes) over the groom (Josh Duhamel). The acting in this film is getting a lot of award buzz from the indie crowd, so if it’s playing in your town, risk a matinee ticket on it. Check out the trailer here, and watch as someone tries to remake The Big Chill for the umpteenth time.
Legendary (limited) – In the newest WWE Films release, a wimpy kid joins the high school wrestling team in an effort to bring his family together. Ask yourself, what are the odds that this is actually good? Who in their right minds casts John Cena (The Marine) in a movie to do anything other than run away from an exploding gas station? Patricia Clarkson and Danny Glover, you deserve so much better.

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