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Michael Jackson This Is It

How about that – new movies coming out the day before Halloween! You can get all costumed up and sit in a theater with a bunch of other similarly-costumed people and bask in the sheer unremitting horror of the cadaverous presence of Michael Jackson. Interested? Let’s run down the movies hitting today.

Michael Jackson’s This Is It - Sure, you can’t get blood from a stone, but you can get it from a dead person who was like 11% plastic. Michael Jackson, man – it’s almost a shame to spill any more pixels on the guy. What hasn’t been said already? He was a legend, he turned into a fruit loop and very probably a paedo, then he died a reverse shadow of his former self. This documentary chronicles the preparations for the enormous tour that he was about to embark upon that some wgas are theorizing he suicided to get out of. Apparently it’s kind of a revelation to see that, as screwed up as MJ was, he still had the spirit in him and the performances are great.

Boondock Saints II: All Saint’s Day – Troy Duffy’s bizarre, self-indulgent 1999 flick Boondock Saints is at times difficult to sit through – it’s very 90s in the worst way, cribs heavily from the Tarantino playbook, and the writer-director is something of a douche. So what the hell would convice people to give him money to make a sequel ten years later? This may be a question that we’ll go to our grave wondering, like whether Lady Gaga was born a dude or not. The lovable murderous vigilante scamps from the first flick return to Boston to go after the Mob again. I hear it sets up a sequel, too – see you in 2019, Troy.

Gentlemen Broncos – The weird Mormons who made Napoleon Dynamite are back with this new thing, about (wait for it) a weird kid from the middle of nowhere who learns things about life. No, really? The upside: Jemaine Clement is supposed to rule it as the grandiloquent Dr. Ronald Chevalier. Might be worth seeing if you’re trying to get in the pants of some hipster broad who’s a few years behind the times, like she just moved here from Iowa six weeks ago and she’s not ruined yet. You know any of those?

House Of The Devil – The only straight-up horror flick dropping this weekend, this will probably get served its lunch by Paranormal Activity but it actually looks pretty promising. A college girl takes a babysitting job only to find out that there ain’t no baby, but what there is is creepy house in the middle of Bumfridge, New Hampshire, populated with creeps, freaks, and lots of eeks. Add in a note-perfect 80s setting and this looks pretty doable.

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