Let’s be real here for a second: we are dudes. And dudes like to watch hot ladies get it on. But since we’re too classy for adult entertainment, we need to dial it down a notch and get our sex scenes from movies and TV. What they lack in the old in and out, they make up for in eroticism, or something. I don’t know. Anyways, here’s ten movies from the 00s with sex scenes that worked the hardest, if you know what I mean.
10. Mulholland Drive’s Raunchy Lesbian Sex Scene
David Lynch movies are not known for their sex appeal (the passel of hotties in Twin Peaks being the welcome exception),but the intense lesbian sex scene in the brain-bending Mulholland Drive gets a spot on this list for sheer gall. Naomi Watts and Laura Harring (who may very well be the same person) not only have a hot bit together, but Watts also has one of the most emotionally intense masturbation scenes ever set to celluloid.
9. Hollow Man
Paul Verhoeven is on my all-time favorite directors list just for Robocop, but his underrated (and really sick) invisible dude flick Hollow Man shows him at his most human-hating. Kevin Bacon plays a molecular biologist who turns himself transparent and uses his new ability to spy on his neighbor (played by the insanely hot former Tomb Raider Rhona Mitra).
8. Black Snake Moan
Okay, straight off I feel like I need to be very clear on some issues with this: Christina Ricci is not hot in this movie. She looks like a Darfur refugee. But even with her scary anorexic body and huge bobblehead, somehow the sex scene between her and Justin Timberlake gets our blood rising – and it’s not for Justin, no matter how much sexy he brings back.
Anne Hathaway: total hottie who also dates sort of sleazy guys – which means we have a chance! Havoc was her token edgy gritty movie where she does drugs and deals with gangs, which every young actress needs to get out of her system. Also out of her system: a group sex thing with Bijou Phillips and two of those sleazy guys.
6. Brotherhood of the Wolf
It’s no lie that I have a shameful bone for Monica Belluci – the Italian sexpot with the fantastic cans is one of the foxiest actresses of the decade, so I knew she’d merit a spot on this list. The only question was for which film? I eventually went with this Frenchie flop, which was about Native Americans kung fu kicking werewolves (not as cool as it sounds) in which she goes full frontal in a volcanically hot sex scene.
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5. American Psycho
For those who say that sex scenes add nothing but cheap titillation to a movie, I point you at Mary Harron’s American Psycho. Patrick Bateman’s self-serving threesome, in which he bangs a pair of clichéd 80s hardbodies while admiring himself in a mirror, speaks more about the character than a dozen pages of dialogue could. Throw in “Sussudio” by Phil Collins and you’ve got a Top 10 contender.
4. Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
Man, Marisa Tomei sure has come a long way since My Cousin Vinny. And while she certainly showed off a lot of stuff in The Wrestler, it’s her love scenes in Sidney Lumet’s Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead that cemented her status as everybody’s hottest comeback kid.
3. Ask The Dust
Salma Hayek: hot woman, or the hottest woman? I realize I’m probably letting slip a weakness for brunettes in this piece, but what can I say? When the tits are down, who really cares about hair? Those of us who have been yearning for spicy Salma to really go at it found our peace in this adaptation of a John Fante novel, in which she romps in the surf in the buff before banging Colin Farrell – that lucky bastard.
2. The Hole
No, this is not a gay porn movie. In fact, it was British hottie Keira Knightley’s debut flick, and she certainly got off on the good foot, with a smoking hot three-way with two dudes. The story of four kids trapped in an air raid shelter, it’s a tense psychological drama that also stars the comely Thora Birch.
1. Lust, Caution
Ang Lee, man – one of the most uneven directors of our time. But Lust, Caution is the top of his portfolio – a love story that embraces the weirdness of sex in all its forms. When a young Chinese woman is pressed into seducing and betraying a brutal secret service official, the pair engage in erotic, acrobatic, and deeply felt sex scenes that make us feel OK about writing this whole damn article.