Music

Top 5 Songs About Having Sex With Robots

Songs About Having Sex With Robots

Do you want to shlep a man-machine? Did you pitch a tent watching Demon Seed? Feel like frotting an astrodroid? Great news, so do musicians! The people who make the music that makes the world sing just can’t get enough of that sweet, sweet gynoid ‘gina. Andrew W.K. loves Gundam more than concussions, Phil Collins and C3P0 have been working overtime to keep their civil union out of the press for years now, and hearsay has it Tom Waits keeps a “grunt ranch” of japanese office robots for his own bestial pleasures. Join us, as we take you into the world of digital deep diddling.

#5. THE BUGGLES – I LOVE YOU MISS ROBOT
For someone who hung a whole album on neo-luddisim, Trevor Horn sure wants to push himself deep inside a metal swimsuit area. So much. “You make love like a metronome/don’t drive too fast when you take me home/Touch the seam on your silver skin/That feels so hard when you take me in”. Wreck that area, Trevor!

#4 NEWCLEUS – AUTOMAN
Nothing to do with the craptastic Tron cash-in from the 1980s, this overlooked electro jam tells the tale of a guy and a girl… and the guy is made of pipes and wires and stuff. Relationships are hard. They’re even harder if you’re an emo robot with no pulse or reproductive organs. Heartbreak and system failure is sure to follow.

#3 ADD N TO (X) – METAL FINGERS IN MY BODY
Add N To (X) liked porn and they liked robots. Porn with robots. This is a video of porn with robots. A bored Ladytron wannabe orders up a robo-gigolo and pretty soon his metal fingers are in her body. If you find this video arousing you have deep-seated childhood issues and brother, rock on.

#2 KRAFTWERK – COMPUTER LOVE
It’s not explicitly about screwing mandroids, but Kraftwerk ARE the robots. Tapping into burning, directionless lust and the German proto-Internet, this little ode to casual, Teutonic hookups in the digital age is one of the stand-out tracks on the Computer World album. Just don’t be surprised if the glacial beats and asexual vocals make your old lady clam up like Twiki if you try and play it “in the act”.

#1 ROYKSOPP feat ROBYN – THE GIRL AND THE ROBOT
Haters gonna hate, but Robyn has class, talent and looks – but it’s not for you, guys. She only goes for workaholics who run on direct current. Rokysopp bring the four to the floor and driving italo synthlines as Ms. Carlsson’s yearning vocals swoop and soar like some kind of… sex eagle. A sex eagle that wants to ride a mechanical man. I love you, Sex Eagle.

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