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Brooklyn Nets Prison Rape Orlando Magic in Proposed Dwight Howard Trade

Dwight Howard Smiling Douche
Trade rumors have been heating up about a potential Dwight Howard trade between the Brooklyn Nets and Orlando Magic. And if the rumors are to be believed Brooklyn should probably be arrested because I’m pretty sure they physically and sexually assaulted the Magic.

This trade is so unbalanced, it’s a complete joke. Someone call David Stern, he might need to start breaking kneecaps.

Even worse, Orlando is giving Dwight Howard, who has managed to come out of this saga looking worse than LeBron “The Decision” James, exactly what he wants.

Dwight Howard is a giant baby. A soft minded, soft playing cretin who has whined and waffled throughout his long, seemingly endless journey to free agency. He’s changed his mind more times than Mitt Romney, demanded his coach get fired, denied that demand in the media, got his coach fired, accused his team of extortion for threatening to trade him, demanded a trade, and then demanded that he be traded only to the Brooklyn Nets killing his trade value.

What an incomparable douche. He makes LeBron look like a saint and I f%@king hate LeBron.

I wanted to like Dwight Howard. I think we all did. He’s one of the biggest and most talented players in the league. But he had to go and spend the entire past year crying and pooping his pants. I can’t take it anymore. I want Orlando to call off this trade and send Dwight to NBA Siberia: The Charlotte Bobcats. There’s no chance they put together a worst package and it’d serve Dwight right for acting like a whiny little bitch.

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