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Nets Cheerleaders New Uniforms Massacre Eyeballs, Cheerleaders Still Hot

Brooklyn Nets Cheerleader Uniforms

So, these are the new uniforms for the nets cheerleaders. These are the ugliest, most confused looking articles of clothing I’ve ever seen. They’re worse than the legendarily terrible University of Oregon football jerseys. How did this happen? I’d be outright offended to my core that these monstrosities are allowed to exist if they weren’t clinging to such lovely ladies.

I feel like a very confused zebra is dead and we only have Jay-Z to blame. He owns very little of the team, but they generally hand him design decisions. He came up with their awesome new logo. I don’t even know what’s supposed to be happening here. Is there supposed to be like an optical illusion going on here that I missed? Did someone put a four-year-old in charge of the designs?

The designs are supposed to be “street,” but what’s so street about having the black and white stripes on your pants go different directions on each pant leg? Are these secret designs for a horrific maze of some sort? I just don’t understand what I’ve done to the Nets personally for them to attack my eyeballs like this. These uniforms have ruined the concept of sight for me. I’m going to go poke out my eyeballs, now.

It almost ruined the concept of cheerleaders as well, but … well, not even these are that horrible. Cheerleaders are awesome.

New Brooklyn Nets Cheerleaders

New Nets Cheerleader Uniforms

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