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FOOD PORN: Professional Eater Downs Denny’s Hobbit Menu in 20 Minutes

Feeling hungry? Just a little peckish before heading out see “The Hobbit?”

Well, it seems Denny’s, that denizen of late-night French fry fests and Grand Slam breakfasts, offers a whole menu selection around the flick about the hairy-footed heroes and their exploits. Just one of these dishes would put you over your cholesterol and salt allowances for the entire day.

But what if you ate all of them? In one glorious food orgy?

Well, that’s what professional eater Jamie McDonald did — he polished off the entire 11-piece Hobbit menu in less than 20 minutes.

(And where do you get a job like “professional eater,” anyway?)

In this video, McDonald downs every plate from the Hobbit menu. No, he didn’t go back for second breakfast, but for that matter, he didn’t loosen his belt, either.

And in case you want to try to beat his time, here’s the menu:

1. Hobbit Hole Breakfast: Two eggs fried right into the center of grilled Cheddar bun halves. Served with two strips of bacon and crispy hash browns topped with melted shredded Cheddar cheese and bacon.

2. Shire Sausage Skillet: Shire sausage with seasoned red-skinned potatoes, sautéed mushrooms and fire-roasted peppers and onions served on a sizzling skillet. Topped with shredded Cheddar cheese and two eggs.

3. Frodo’s Pot Roast Skillet: Slow-cooked pot roast, herb-roasted carrots, celery, mushrooms and onions over broccoli and seasoned red-skinned potatoes served on a hot sizzling skillet. Topped with shredded Cheddar cheese and served with dinner bread.

4. The Ring Burger: A hand-pressed burger topped with Pepper Jack cheese, bacon, sautéed mushrooms and mayo on a grilled Cheddar cheese bun. Crowned with three crispy onion rings and served with lettuce, tomato, red onions, pickles and a side of wavy-cut French fries.

5. Gandalf’s Gobble Melt: Tender sliced turkey breast and savory stuffing topped with melted Swiss cheese placed on grilled potato bread with a cranberry honey mustard spread. Served with your choice of side and gravy for dipping.

6. Dwarves’ Turkey & Dressing Dinner: Tender sliced turkey breast, savory stuffing, gravy and cranberry sauce served with your choice of two sides and dinner bread.

7. Lonely Mountain Treasure: Seed Cake French Toast cut into nine squares and served with a side of cream cheese icing for dipping.

8. Radagast’s Red Velvet Pancake Puppies: Six bite-sized round red velvet Pancake Puppies® made with white chocolate chips and sprinkled with powdered sugar. Served with a side of cream cheese icing for dipping.

9. Bilbo’s Berry Smoothie: Made with a delicious blend of raspberries, blueberries, pomegranate and nonfat yogurt.

10. Lone-Lands Campfire Cookie Milk Shake: A thick hand-dipped milk shake with a delicious blend of premium vanilla ice cream and s’mores cookie pieces topped with a dollop of whipped cream. Served with a little extra in the tin.

Oh, and let’s not forget:

11. Build Your Own Hobbit Slam: Pick any FOUR items and make it your own. Slam Items: Pumpkin Patch Pancakes, Bacon Strips, Buttermilk Biscuit, Buttermilk Pancakes, Eggs, English Muffin, Grits, Hash Browns, Oatmeal, Sausage Links, Slices of Toast, Turkey Bacon Strips, Chicken Sausage Patty, Egg Whites, Hearty Wheat Pancakes.

Sir, would you like some more coffee with that? Or a doggie bag?

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