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Michele Bachmann Retires in Marathon Narcissistic Video, Doesn’t Breathe Once

In one of the more self-serving videos ever uploaded to Youtube, Michele Bachmann announced that she will not be seeking re-election as Congresswoman of Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District.

The video begins with a brief civics lesson on how long political terms last, you know, in case you did not know there were presidential term limits. Bachmann, who is no stranger to political pageantry, uses the rest of the eight minutes and 40 seconds of the video listing all of her accomplishments in an effort to explain how she could win her seat again if she wanted to.

With edited-out breaths and a soundtrack that sounds like the emotional climax of a 1980s high school sports drama, the video is exhausting.

Fans of Michele Bachmann should not be too sad, however — at the end of the video she perfectly sets herself up for a run at a bigger office. Governor Bachmann 2014?

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