Some twitter feeds out there have actually earned their place in the Library of Congress. While you’re tweeting about your lunch or opinions on American Idol some folks are finding creative uses for that 140-character limit. Here’s 10 accounts you should be following…
Curated by a preschool teacher in Portland, Oregon, @PreschoolGems might as well be called Kids Say the Darndest Things: 21st Century Edition. Leslie McCollom tweets the adorable things her students say, without context. McCollom has written a book along the same lines as the Twitter account and you can check out her website here.
“This is the girl who I like so much, she’s the princess of every single pony. I named her Unicorn Pants. Glitter Pants.”
— Preschool Gems (@PreschoolGems) August 1, 2012
“I’m jealous of my cat, because he has pink paws. I’m very fond of him.”
— Preschool Gems (@PreschoolGems) May 25, 2012
Tweets of Old
Tweets of Old lets us know that Twitter has been around for much longer than we thought. The tweets are real one-liners from old newspapers, making for a surprisingly entertaining feed.
WANTED–Two girls at once. Hotel Brinkman.MN1905
— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) January 16, 2013
Eliza Thorpe, a “holy roller,” wanted to show Macon, Ga. unbelievers she could walk on water. Her body has been recovered. IL1911
— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 19, 2012
If you free associate Kim Kardashian and Søren Kierkegaard, then the @KimKierkegaard twitter account is right up your alley. This twitter account brilliantly mashes up the tweets and musings of Kim Kardashian with the writings of Danish philosopher Kierkegaard, so, as you can imagine, every tweet is gold.
Remember laughing in our pj’s in Miami? Youth was still innocent and anxiety had not yet reduced us to impotence & despair. Fav memory! — KimKierkegaardashian (@KimKierkegaard) October 22, 2012
I dressed as a mermaid and Kanye’s my “captain.” Our relationship is one of exhausted tension, so ambiguous it is virtually meaningless.
— KimKierkegaardashian (@KimKierkegaard) October 28, 2012
Irish Mammy is your well-meaning Twitter mother. Each tweet is a non-sequitur that captures Irish syntax and turns of phrases in a delightful way.
There’s no doubt but I’ll have to do something about getting connected with the Internet and Computers. The whole thing is passing me by.
— irishmammy (@irishmammies) September 12, 2012
I hope now you didn’t use the good scissors for that.
— irishmammy (@irishmammies) March 24, 2012
Jerry joins Twitter only to find that a Jerry parody account has 50k followers. It’s run by Bania who will stop if Jerry buys him dinner. — Modern Seinfeld (@SeinfeldToday) December 10, 2012
Jerry convinces Babu Bhatt to open a food truck. The truck is stolen. “Kramering” (bursting into rooms) becomes an Internet sensation.
— Modern Seinfeld (@SeinfeldToday) March 4, 2013
Mattel wins corporate creativity points by giving Barbie a verified Twitter account. The tweets are pretty much what you’d expect them to be, with frequent mentions of fashion and how much she hearts Ken. But it’s all so charming and clever that you can forgive them for being so blatantly commercial.
— Barbie (@BarbieStyle) February 5, 2013
“Seeing the sparkle in my doll’s eyes is the only present I need on Valentine’s Day.” – Ken — Barbie (@BarbieStyle) February 14, 2013
Made Up Stats
Made-up Stats is another self-explanatory twitter account, and it delivers on its promise, to varying levels of silliness.
69% of men have a rather puerile sense of humour.
— made-up stats (@madeupstats) December 26, 2012
You have eaten 60% more species of animal than you thought.
— made-up stats (@madeupstats) February 12, 2013
Fake AP Style Book
The Fake AP Style Book mocks style books for writing by offering absurd advice.
The correct plural of ocelot is oceshitload. Ocefuckton is vulgar and should be avoided.
— Fake AP Stylebook (@FakeAPStylebook) July 9, 2012
“Teh” is a common misspelling of “the.” Add it to your rival’s spell-check dictionary.
— Fake AP Stylebook (@FakeAPStylebook) June 29, 2012
Of all the animal twitter accounts, Shakespeare Raccoon might be the most creative. This little guy has big dreams of making it as an actor. He lives in New York’s Central Park, so every summer he observes Shakespeare in the Park, making the occasional cameo in the performances.
I’m inexplicably drawn to Amy Adams. Whenever I see her, I want to follow her & start singing. Hope she’s friendly to woodland creatures.
— Shakespeare Raccoon (@ParkRaccoon) July 24, 2012
— Shakespeare Raccoon (@ParkRaccoon) July 28, 2012
David Bonta tweets his observations while sitting on his front porch in Central Pennsylvania. His writing is decidedly old-school, the focus on nature calls to mind Romantic poets like Wordsworth. It’s a nice palate cleanser to all the snark of the internet.
Three inches of fresh snow, unmarred by a single human track. A scrabbling of claws: five squirrels on the trunk of a dead maple.
— Dave Bonta (@morningporch) January 16, 2013
Sparkles on the snow seem to float on another plane.* Tree branches closest to the sun shine like knights in armor from the rime.
— Dave Bonta (@morningporch) January 3, 2013