Put R-Patz On Your Crotch

Twilight – this has got to stop. It’s just a Goddamn movie about vampires, not a new Bible. I mean, not yet – nobody really knows what that crazy Mormon is going to get up to next. And what’s the deal with the massive sexual attraction the world seems to have for Robert Pattinson? He looks like a dude who wanted to be in the Cure but couldn’t cut it. So this latest piece of bizarre New Moon merchandise has me scratching my head – Edward Cullen panties? Really? Do people need to walk around sporting the mug of the sparkling undead on their swimsuit area? It’s only a matter of time before some teenage girl turns these inside out while she’s on her period and lawsuits start flying.

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