Full Release: Music

Snoop Dogg

It’s new record day once again, where your ears open like delicate tulips to the siren call of marginally talented people and their Auto-Tune machines. This week seems to be when all the MCs got together and bumrushed the racks, with new CDs form Redman, Snoop Dogg, Clipse, and that dope fly rapper Jimmy Buffett. Plus more! Check out my quick hits on the week’s releases.

Chris BrownGraffiti – I love that Chris Brown is dropping his new album the week after Rihanna’s, it’ll make his utter destruction all the more sweet. Brown’s music has always been pretty horrible, the legion of pre-teen girls who love “No Air” notwithstanding, and his transformation into blow-throwing ex-boyfriend who seems to think he’s the victim in all this has hopefully alienated most of them. Guests include Lupe Fiasco, Trey Songz, Lil Wayne of course. Don’t buy this. Don’t support this guy.

ClipseTil The Casket Drops – Ah, that’s better. This sees Clipse stepping out from the Neptunes to work with other producers (even though Pharrell and Chad are still all over this) like Diddy and Rick Rubin. Featuring guests by Cam’ron, Kanye, Keri Hilson and more, this should be a solid slab of unpretentious, tight hip-hop. The stuff I like.

RedmanReggie Noble 9 1/2 – The man with the greatest episode of Cribs ever drops a new joint, and it’s one of those perplexing “alter ego” records that rappers like to do every once in a while. Apparently “Reggie Noble” is Redman’s more pop-oriented self, and he also might be a spy. Remember when Garth Brooks tried to pull this crap?

Snoop DoggMalice N Wonderland – Ah, Snoop. You’ve managed to keep a career longer than 99% of your contemporaries simply by never actually rapping about anything particularly important. Your gossamer-fart pop hits have been the soundtrack to millions of white kids smoking pot for the first time, and you know what? Good for you! This latest LP has a hilarious cover that looks like an Ed Hardy fever dream and probably features a crap-ton of autotune.

TimbalandShock Value II – I love that Tim is so shocked that something leaked off of this. What hip-hop album isn’t 100% leaked weeks before it drops these days? They really need to tighten up security in the industry. Or not, since stuff keeps selling. In July of last year, Tim said this record would have Madonna, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers on it, but thankfully he seems to have come down from whatever the hell he was on, and confirmed guests now include Justin Timberlake, Esthero, and… Miley Cyrus. Oh, Jesus.

B.G – Too Hood To Be Hollywood – Eleventh studio joint from an old-school Southern rap star and former Hot Boy Baby Gangsta. Produced by T.I. and featuring guests by Lil Boosie, Lil Wayne, and some other little dudes, this is probably going to be fairly solid if not the “classic album” that B.G. has been promising.

Jimmy BuffettBuffett Hotel – Oh, old white dude, did you really read through all of those rap records just to get to the Jimmy Buffett? I’m so sorry. What can you really write about a dude’s 28th album? It sounds just like the other ones.

30 Seconds To Mars – This Is War – Jared Leto still has a band and they’re putting a new record out. It does have an awesome picture of a tiger on the front cover so that’s pretty fly. Apparently they debuted one of the singles in the video game Dragon Age: Origins (you know, the one with all the gay sex), so that’s sort of cool. I mean, if you like gay sex. And if you like 30 Seconds To Mars, you probably do.