The Latest GTA Killer Swings Into Town, And It’s Archie

Via Comics Alliance comes word of yet another Grand Theft Auto wannabe that I’m certain most folks are completely unaware of, despite being based upon one of the most popular comic franchises of all time. What happens when you take America’s most squeaky-clean imaginary teenager and thrust him into a go anywhere/do anything environment where one can follow their heart’s desires, no matter how morally reprehensible they might be? Well, this is Archie we’re talking about, so not much I’m afraid.

All he does is just run around town, into floating flowers and hearts. There’s a good deal of driving as well, but his rides are pretty lame, and something tells me that no zero car-jacking goes down. Also from the looks of things, all the familiar faces from Archie’s world are accounted for, along with a storyline that’s sure to please fans of the comics (I’m still at a loss over how it’s managed to stick around for so long, though someone obviously must be buying the stuff).

The official website has a list of all the reasons why both Archie diehards and novices will want to get their hands on the game. Included are:

“It’s a driving and adventure game.” Really?

“It has an interesting storyline and fast paced game play.” And it’s about time someone tried offering both!”

“The game has lots of challenging missions to solve.” If one of those challenging mission involving a means to get Betty and Veronica to make out, then I am SOLD.

I wonder why PlayStation 1 era graphics aren’t mentioned. Or the killer soundtrack? Hopefully this game will never come out, because it’s funnier that way. After all, the world has long needed a replacement for Duke Nukem Forever.