‘Honey Boo-Boo’: Now With More Baby-Poisoning

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Here Comes Honey Boo Boo , TLC’s bastion of healthy parenting practices, is at it again. This time its Alana’s older sister Pumpkin continuing their household’s fantastic habit of sugar-shocking their children (see: Alana).

Except this time, the child on the receiving end of a Mountain Dew dosage is a one-month old baby, which, last time I checked, had to be taken care of and sh*t, yo (Jesse Pinkman voice).

Perhaps there’s a one-month old division of baby pageants I’m unaware of — Alana’s “go-juice” is an amalgamation of Mountain Dew, Red Bull and whatever else that mom-ster poisons her kid with—but, if there is, perhaps the talent portions would include such spectacles as best lemon juice sour-face, or whistle-iest baby fart (based on bodyweight, of course).

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