Angus T. Jones: Top 10 Facts You Need to Know

Good lord.

Angus T. Jones, that kid who plays Jake on Two and a Half Men, has found religion and is publicly blasting his own show as “filth” — a Satanic cesspool of sin that should be shunned by any viewers who are lured by its temptation. Hey, he did have to work with Charlie Sheen, the spawn of the devil. But still, what has possessed Jones?

Here’s what you should know about the born-again boy who dissed the hand that feeds him.

1. He Was a Child Star

Angus was a chubby-faced kid when his parents moved to California and his mom pushed, er, suggested he try acting. Despite having no experience, he landed parts in commercials and movies. At age 9, he scored the part of Jake on the hit show Two and a Half Men.

2. He Did Drugs
angus t. jones drugs
Jones says his cousin got him into weed before his junior year in high school. Then he got into acid: “I was one of the stereotypical, ‘This drug could change the world.’ Like, ‘If this was legal, everything would be different.’ I was that guy.” But somehow he managed to remain one of the most boring interviewees in the history of made-for-YouTube interviews.

3. He Makes $350,000 Per Episode
angus t. jones salary
Wahaa? That is not a typo. And with a net worth of $15 million he’s been ranked as the sixth-richest teen celebrity.

4. He “Testified” in Videos for a Christian / Conspiracy Website
(WARNING: THIS VIDEO IS REAAALY BORING.) In the biggest interview ever landed by Christian / conspiracy website Forerunner Chronicles out of Alabama, Jones drones on and on about finding God and, in Part II of this riveting masterpiece, he makes news with his take on his employer …

5. He Says His Show is Evil and You Should Never Watch It
Jones has come to realize that his work is the work of the devil:

If you watch Two and a Half Men, please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I’m on Two and a Half Men, and I don’t want to be on it. Please stop watching it, please stop filling your head with filth. … Do some research on the effects of television and your brain, and I promise you, you’ll have a decision to make when it comes to television, especially with what you watch on television. It’s bad news.

6. He Had an Epiphany when God Hugged Him
angus t. jones religion god testify
On December 27, 2011, Jones and a friend were brainstorming ideas for an artistic business venture and looking for a slogan. “And I said, God’s definitely gonna be a part of this. … No, God is the center of all this. God is the reason. … Right when I said that, I had this feeling of warmth, acceptance, love. … The best way I can describe it is being hugged by your most favorite person ever but they’re able to hug every single part of your being.” So he accepted God, became a Seventh Day Adventists and, shortly thereafter, renounced Two and a Half Men.

7. The Show Offends other Conservatives
angus t. jones sex
The Parents Television Council gives Two and a Half Men a red light, saying it’s unsuitable for kids under 18. It cites the following:

Language in this series is rated yellow and includes “hell,” “damn,” “bastard,” “crap,” “ass,” and “bitch.” Far worse than the frequent use of foul language is the constant barrage of sexual scenes and jokes. Even though Charlie’s promiscuous character is gone, the sexual content has not abated at all. So far this season there have been jokes about men wearing women’s underwear, sexually transmitted diseases, prostitution, threesomes, the size of Walden’s genitals, and how much Alan masturbates.

8. He’s a Virgin
angus t. jones virgin
Even though Angus was getting high and making millions doing the devil’s work, the Lord managed to keep him from getting laid.

9. ForeRunner Chronicles Says Jay-Z is a Satanic Freemason

ForeRunner Chronicles, the group behind the Jones video that tells everyone not to watch his show, is also behind a video series called “Jay-Z Deception,” described on the group’s YouTube page:

A Documentary on Jay-Z’s connection to the Freemasons, The Satanic plot behind his new album THE BLUEPRINT 3, and his new video “RUN THIS TOWN” with KANYE WEST and RHIANNA, AND MUCH MORE ……THIS IS A MUST SEE!

10. Jones’ Parents Have a Criminal Past
The Daily Mail reports:

His mother Carey … was arrested in 1992 for ripping the meter out of a taxi and then punching a police officer in the face while she was drunk. Then in 1997 she was arrested on a burglary charge after a woman woke to find Carey in her living room.Jones’ father Kelly was arrested in 1986 for possession of marijuana and carrying an unlicensed .45-caliber handgun after he created a disturbance in a bar. In 1997 Carey had Kelly arrested on an assault charge after he allegedly pulled her out of a car and pushed her to the ground.