2. I can’t be impossible; I exist! I think what you meant to say is, ‘I give up; he’s improbable.’
3. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
4. I’m not insane, my mother had me tested!
5. I made a new friend who likes trains as much as I do, I kissed Amy on the lips, and the conductor played his banjo for me.
6. Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you’ll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of ‘friends with benefits.’
7. Ah, gravity – thou art a heartless b*tch.
8. Don’t You Think If I Were Wrong I’d Know It?
9. Well, well, well, if it isn’t Wil Wheaton. The Green Goblin to my Spider-Man, the Pope Paul V to my Galileo, the Internet Explorer to my Firefox!
10. Move across the hall? Did you take a marijuana?