Melissa Rivers managed to fight back the tears to deliver a brilliant and hilarious eulogy at her mother Joan Rivers’ funeral. It was a letter that Melissa had written to her mother prior to her death in response to a note Joan had left her “landlord” Melissa. Here are some of the highlights:I received the note that you slipped under my bedroom door last night. I was very excited to read it, thinking that it would contain amazing, loving advice that you wanted to share with me. Imagine my surprise when I opened it and saw that it began with the salutation, “Dear Landlord.”
While I appreciate your desire to “upgrade” your accommodations to a larger space, I cannot, in good conscience, move [my 13-year-old son] Cooper into the laundry room.
Also, I know you are a true creative genius (and I am in awe of the depth of your instincts), but breaking down a wall without my permission is not an appropriate way to express that creativity.
While I’m glad to see you’re socializing, you must refill the hot tub after your parties.
I think it’s great that you’re entertaining more often, but I can’t keep fielding complaints from the neighbors about your noisy party games like Ring Around the Walker or naked Duck, Duck Caregiver.
I’m more than happy to have you use the house for social gatherings, but you cannot rent it out, advertise as “party central” or hand out T-shirts that say “F— Jimmy Buffett.”
You can read the letter in its entirety via Us Weekly by clicking here.