Melissa Rivers Hilarious Eulogy Letter From Joan Rivers’ Funeral

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Melissa Rivers managed to fight back the tears to deliver a brilliant and hilarious eulogy at her mother Joan Rivers’ funeral. It was a letter that Melissa had written to her mother prior to her death in response to a note Joan had left her “landlord” Melissa. Here are some of the highlights:

  • I received the note that you slipped under my bedroom door last night. I was very excited to read it, thinking that it would contain amazing, loving advice that you wanted to share with me. Imagine my surprise when I opened it and saw that it began with the salutation, “Dear Landlord.”

  • While I appreciate your desire to “upgrade” your accommodations to a larger space, I cannot, in good conscience, move [my 13-year-old son] Cooper into the laundry room.

  • Also, I know you are a true creative genius (and I am in awe of the depth of your instincts), but breaking down a wall without my permission is not an appropriate way to express that creativity.

  • While I’m glad to see you’re socializing, you must refill the hot tub after your parties.

  • I think it’s great that you’re entertaining more often, but I can’t keep fielding complaints from the neighbors about your noisy party games like Ring Around the Walker or naked Duck, Duck Caregiver.

  • I’m more than happy to have you use the house for social gatherings, but you cannot rent it out, advertise as “party central” or hand out T-shirts that say “F— Jimmy Buffett.”

  • You can read the letter in its entirety via Us Weekly by clicking here.