In honor of the TV show Gilmore Girls being released on Netflix, check out the Top 20 best quotes from the beloved series …
Paris: I think it’s good to be adopted. If you get sick of them, you just dump this set and go find the originals.
Lorelai: I managed to find Uno and Checkers, and Battleship and most of the pieces of Candyland. Which I figure, we can mix together to create a fabulous new game, Candyship Battleland. War never tasted so good!
Luke: I don’t even like kids. They always have jam on their hands. Even when there isn’t any jam in the house, they get jam on their hands. I can’t deal with jam hands.
Michel: Every day that you breathe you make my life harder.
Lorelai: Date her, marry her, make her Mrs. Backwards baseball cap. See if I care.
Logan: Rory, you’re special.
Rory: Like “stop-eating-the-paste” special?
Lorelai: I had a dream about him the other night.
Rory: Really? Dirty?
Lorelai: No. Absolutely not. And when you’re 21, I’ll tell you the real answer.
Rory: [to Logan as they enter his house for dinner] Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed.
Michel: Look, I’ve had my peace with the fact that everyone who calls here is a notch above brain dead, and that the pennies I am thrown each week are in exchange for me dealing with these people in a nonviolent manner. And usually that is fine, but today, sorry lady, I have ennui.
Mrs. Kim: [talking to relative at a Kim wedding] Ming-Jei. Look good. Lost weight. Not so fat.
Rory: [when Paris suddenly appears in front of Rory] God, you’re like a pop-up book from hell!
Christopher: Who could not like being kissed by a Gilmore girl?
Rory: Obviously he’s met one of those Thursday afternoon girls.
Lane: What’s a Thursday afternoon girl?
Rory: They’re those slutty girls that get guys to switch their Thursday afternoons with another checkout guy so they can go do slutty Thursday afternoon things.
Kirk: The worst part of night terrors is it always ends up with me on top of the roof completely naked or running down the street completely naked or swimming in the community-center pool completely naked. That was the time I thought I was on fire.
Dave Rygalski: A few weeks ago you told me that Lane had a crush on me. Well, I have a crush on her, too. Now, I know you have very strict rules about dating and boys, but I just want you to know that I’m a good person. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I’ve never gotten a ticket, I’m healthy, I take care of myself, I floss. I never watch more than 30 minutes of television a night partly because I think it’s a waste of time and partly because there’s nothing on. I respect my parents, I do well in school, I never play video games in case they do someday prove that playing them can turn you into a serial killer. I don’t drink coffee. I hate soda because the carbonation freaks me out. I’m happy to give up meat if you feel strongly about it. I don’t mind wearing a tie. I enjoy playing those hymns on my guitar, and I really, really want to take your daughter to the prom.
Jess: Someone devil-egged my car?
Rory: …I want you to come over here to this dresser, open up the top drawer and take out everything that you’d be embarrassed to be wearing during a car accident. Meet me downstairs. Move.
Lorelai: Someday, when you’re a little older, you’ll be introduced to something that is extremely seductive but fickle. A fair weather friend who seems benigned but packs a whallop like a donkey kick, and that is the Long Island Ice Tea. The Long Island Ice Tea makes you do things you normally wouldn’t do, like lifting your skirt in public or calling someone you normally wouldn’t call at really weird times.
Miss Patty: It’s times like these that you realize what is *truly* important in your life. I’m so glad I had all that sex.
Rory: Headmaster Charleston, faculty members, fellow students, family and friends, welcome. We never thought this day would come. We prayed for its quick delivery, crossed days off our calendars, counted hours, minutes, and seconds, and now that it’s here, I’m sorry it is because it means leaving friends who inspire me and teachers who have been my mentors – so many people who have shaped my life and my fellow students’ lives impermeably and forever. I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I’ve been a resident of Faulkner’s Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina, and strolled down Swann’s Way. It’s a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything. Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind, decent, unfailingly generous people. They are my twin pillars without whom I could not stand. I am proud to be their grandchild. But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life’s blood, Lorelai Gilmore … My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn’t do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music, unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don’t know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her … Thank you, Mom. You are my guidepost for everything.