‘New Girl’ Season 6 Episode 22 ‘Five Stars for Beezus’: Recap & Spoilers

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(Ray Mickshaw/FOX)

Now that we finally know what Schmidt’s first name is, how will New Girl move forward? That question is answered in tonight’s season six finale, “Five Stars for Beezus.”

The show has been driving towards a possible series finale, once Jess finally tells Nick she loves him. Nick also realized that in last week’s “San Diego,” in which he finally broke up with Reagan. Although the show still hasn’t been renewed for a seventh season, “Five Stars for Beezus” also gives a preview of where the show could go if it lives on.

Here’s a look at all the action in “Five Stars for Beezus.”

SPOILERS FOLLOW


Adult Relationships Are Really Complicated

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The season finale opens with Cece and Jess driving from the airport. Jess tells Cece that her plan is to tell Nick how she really feels after his book reading. Cece thinks this might be a bad idea, since Nick just broke up with Reagan. She agrees, but Jess has it all planned out. She wrote down what she’s going to say on the airplane and some of it’s in song. Cece asks Jess why she doesn’t just tell him how she feels, straight from the heart. Jess chuckles at that idea.

At the reading for The Pepperwood Chronicles, Nick finds himself reading his gory novel, which includes a character named Jessica Knight. A member of the audience asks him when Julius Pepperwood and Jessica are finally going to get together. “I’ll just cut to it, guys. Pepperwood and Jessica Knight are never getting together. Never,” Nick says, disappointing the audience and Jess looks on.

“These characters are based on real people, and the real people are just fundamentally different,” Nick says. “They don’t work together. It’s just never going to happen.”

Jess shakes her head and leaves the bookstore and Nick spots her.

“And also, you know, Pepperwood, he blew it. Sometimes, you don’t get another chance to fix the mistake. Adult relationships are really complicated,” Nick says. “So let’s here it for books!”


My Dad Is the Diaper Bandit?

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After the first break, Merle Streep (guest star Brian Huskey) tells Nick at the book store that he’s an publisher. Rather than talk to him, Nick brushes him off to make an important phone call. He calls Jess, still not aware that she’s standing right outside. Jess answers the phone and Nick asks her if she’s back in Los Angeles because he thought he saw her at the reading.

Jess lies, saying she’s not back yet. He tells her that the reading went very well and adds that he broke up with Reagan. Jess gets scared, telling her that she has to go help her dad and hang up.

Merle goes back to Nick and tells him that he wants to publish The Pepperwood Chronicles. “I want you to publish my book!” Nick says awkwardly.

Jess arrives at Cece’s house to talk to her best friend about what happened at the bookstore. Cece isn’t wearing pants though, since she arranged a “no pants day” with Schmidt… er… Winston. Jess offers to take off her pants too, but Cece tells her that’s not necessary.

At the loft, Aly is finishing moving in and The Bish notices a wanted poster among Aly’s documents. It’s the wanted poster for the “diaper bandit” and has a phone number written on it. The phone number is Winston’s father’s. Aly wanted to be nice to Winston, since he said he’d always wanted to find hi father. “My dad… is the diaper bandit?” Winston asks. (No, he’s not.)

Schmidt gets home late, drops his pants and heads over to the woman laying on his couch. But it’s not Cece, it’s Jess! Jess tells Schmidt about what happened at the book reading. He tries to calm her down, reminding her that Nick was only talking about fictional characters. “No, he was talking about us. He just doesn’t feel the way I feel. I can’t see him,” Jess says.

But then Nick arrives! Jess runs out of the living room. Nick had to talk to Schmidt in person because his phone was at 5 percent and he couldn’t find the charger. He tells his friend the big news: an editor wants to publish his book and he couldn’t tell Jess because she wouldn’t pick up. Nick want Schmidt to come with him to the publisher’s meeting in the morning.

Cece and Schmidt try to help Jess avoid Nick, and the three meet in the bedroom. She tells them the big news: Jess is going to move out of the loft while Nick is at his meeting. She can’t take living with her ex-boyfriend anymore, even though she has feelings for him and they’re both single now. Nick bursts into the room to announce that he couldn’t find the trash bin and Jess hides behind the door.


Home Is Where Your Stuff Is

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After their friends leave the bedroom, Schmidt is still trying to process the news that Jess is leaving the loft. Cece is surprised that Schmidt cares so much about Nick and Jess’ relationship, but he can’t help himself. It’s playing out like a six-season TV show! Schmidt wants to tell Jess that Nick loves her, but Cece says it’s a bad idea for them to get involved. Schmidt agrees.

At the publisher’s office, Schmidt really wants to tell Nick that Jess loves him, but he can’t. So instead, he asks Nick why he thinks he’s so “OK” with his Reagan break-up. After explaining that they were in two different places, Nick suddenly yells, “Why hasn’t Jess called me back?” Then, Schmidt asks, “Why do you think you didn’t want Jess to move into the loft?” “Because I was afraid,” Nick says.

Schmidt tells Nick that he was in love with Jess the moment he laid eyes on her and let her into the loft. “I have never seen you look at someone like that in my entire life, except, maybe on a few occasions, me,” Schmidt says.

“I’ve never looked at you the same way I look at Jess,” Nick says.

After a little back-and-forth on this, Nick finally gets back on the topic at hand, describing the first time he saw Jess in such a way that makes it clear he’s in love with her. It’s the first time we’ve ever heard about the first time Nick saw her. “Will you listen to yourself?” Schmidt says. Schmidt then tells Nick about Jess packing her stuff up and moving out. “For once in your life, don’t be afraid,” he tells Nick.

Merle then shows up and he asks if they’re ready for the meeting. Schmidt introduces himself, then says, “Children’s literature just got a brand new daddy.” “Don’t say that here anymore,” Merle says.

Back at the loft, Cece finds Jess already packing her stuff up. The packing is going really slowly and Cece tells her that she doesn’t have to rush to pack this all away now. Jess insists that if the stuff stays there, so will she. “You know me. I live where my stuff lives.” Jess tells Cece that she will move back to Los Angeles before the new school year begins, but the two BFFs will still miss each other.

As Jess starts going though the living room, she finally breaks the news to Winston and Aly. They are stunned. She tries to assure them that she’s just going to Portland for the summer, but Winston worries that she’ll get stuck there. While he’s frustrated, he tells Jess that Aly found his dad’s phone number! Jess is surprised and asks if he’s going to call. Winston says he won’t. Jess says he could always just escape to Portland. Winston refuses to go because Portland is “hella white.”

In her bedroom, Jess answers Cece’s phone and sees that it’s her gynecologist. “Cece, you’re pregnant!” the doctor says. Jess is speechless.


Miracle of Miracles

Gynecologist Sadie (June Diane Raphael) can’t figure out why Jess would pick up someone else’s phone. Jess tells the doctor to call back in five minutes and she’ll pretend she doesn’t know the good news.

Cece then comes back into Jess’ room. Jess turns around and has a big grin on her face. “I just love boxes so much,” Jess says. Cece insists on helping Jess take the box outside, so she misses Sadie’s call.

Aly picks up Cece’s phone, and Sadie blurts out the news. Winston overhears it, and screams that Cece’s pregnant. Aly tries to get him to calm down, and Sadie tells Aly that Cece has to call her back.

We see Jess run up the stairs to the loft. When she gets in, she sees Winston telling the other Winston on the phone that he’s going to be a papa! While Jess is trying to get Winston to stop, he keeps telling Schmidt that he’s going to be a father. Then, Jess tells Winston that Schmidt doesn’t know. A look of horror comes over his face. Winston realizes how much he’s messed up. “You weren’t supposed to know that, so… don’t know that.”

Jess pulls the phone out of Winston’s hand and tells Schmidt that everyone knows Cece is pregnant except Cece herself! Schmidt then asks Jess if the news is true. “Yeah, it’s true,” she tells him and commands him to get home to meet Cece.

Cece bursts in, yelling “miracle of miracles” because she finally got a parking spot. Aly, Winston and Jess stare at her with smiles though. “We’re just really happy that you found that spot,” Aly tells Cece. “People wait their whole lives looking for a spot,” a choked-up Winston says.

Back at the editor’s office, Merle suggests that Nick kills off Jessica Knight in the second Pepperwood Chronicles book. Nick thinks it’s a crazy idea and Merle says he understands that Nick might be afraid to make changes.

“I’m not afraid,” Nick says, but refuses to make those changes. He says that Jessica Knight is the reason Pepperwood gets out of bed every day!

Nick bursts out of the office and rushes to tell Schmidt that he’s right. But Schmidt had to leave. He did leave the name of his favorite Uber driver, Beezus (Fred Willard), though. On the ride, Beezus asks Nick if he’d like some music. Beezus starts singing “Hot Crossed Buns.”


The Time of My Life

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After the break, Jess stands in her empty room, since she’s all packed to go. Winston and Aly walk in, and Winston can’t believe that Jess would rather run than tell Nick how she really feels. “Jess, I know you. You can’t walk away without talking to him,” Winston says. Jess still thinks that leaving is for the best.

Before Jess leaves for good, Winston tells her to stop. He then calls Van, his father. He leaves a message, telling Van that he’s getting married and that he turned out OK himself. After hanging up, Winston tells Jess that it’s now her turn. “Be brave.” She still won’t talk to Nick though and hands him the keys to the loft.

Cece arrives home to find the living room filled with flowers and Schmidt carrying a bouquet. “What’s happening?” “I’m pregnant,” Schmidt responds. “I mean, you’re pregnant. We’re pregnant.” He then explains how he found out, but Cece doesn’t care. She lights up with a smile and starts crying. “We’re having a baby.” The two kiss.

Meanwhile, Winston and Aly drive off in the moving van just as Nick arrives. Of course, “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” is playing on the radio. Jess then realizes that Winston was right and gets out of the truck, even though they’re in the middle of the street. She runs back to the loft.

We see Nick go into Jess’ room and is shocked to see it completely bare. He then hears Jess outside, yelling for help to get inside the building. It’s almost like a repeat of the first time he ever saw her. Nick smiles and yells out for her. He rushes down, but Jess finally gets in because someone leaves the building. She slams the elevator button, at the same time Nick is upstairs. Just as Nick gets in the elevator, Jess decides to run up the stairs!

When Jess gets in the loft, she sees Nick outside on the street! They tell each other to “stay right there,” but both of them leave! The whole last sequence of events play out again, but this time, Jess gets on the elevator. When the door opens, a mover comes out first, and Nick yells at the man about moving too slow and he needs to tell his best friend that he loves her.

Jess smiles and says, “Hey Miller.” The doors close. When the elevator opens downstairs, we see the two kissing.

And that’s the end of New Girl season six. The show hasn’t been renewed yet, but if it’s not, this was a perfect ending. There were plenty of seeds planted for next year – Cece and Schmidt are starting a family, Winston will try to meet his dad and Nick and Jess try a relationship again. We’ll hopefully see more of New Girl next year.

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